Desolation

Life of a desolate. Let me make this clear:- The poem does not convey my feelings. It is just about someone who is a victim of depression, that's all!

I am sad and also sometimes glad,

Over the life to me bestowed.

Thinking about it makes me mad,

I should be striding on which road?

*

This life is brief and I am in grief,

I now hope for a ray of light.

Here, my life is like a fallen leaf

I wander like a string-less kite.

*

Even the satanic sky asks why,

 This cold world here is cruel to me,

 Rather than to live, I long to die,

Perhaps that way I can be free.

Author's Note

The poem adheres a strict syllable count of :- 9,8,9,8. And, rhyme scheme is also very strict. It is one of the toughest poem by me.

The poem is not about me, it is what I got in my mind, and then I let it flow in words. I am very positive by the way.

As always, the doors for critics are always welcome. Be harsh and strict while reviewing. I want to make this good.

I thank Sir Tate and Perkele.7885, for there kindness.

Thanks for stopping by and sparing time upon my work. Reading it is as same as honoring my efforts.

I firstly had named it "Introvert" but changed it and put "Pessimist". but soon after I again changed it to "Desolation" as many reviewers told me that, introversion and pessimism are different from depression. Thanks to those reviewers.

Image source:- Google

Devanshu

Reviews

[Ishita Dixit]

I wander like a stringless kite.
This can happen on more occasions than one.
As soon as I read this line, I thought that as a dreamer I can relate to it.
Just a thought.

Your poem is amazing. The rhyme scheme was good too.
The ideas were expressed brilliantly.
You are very cheerful and that's why its a pleasant surprise how you carved out a poem from the view point of a loner with such perfection!
Kudos!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the beautiful review. I'm glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[Avinash]

This one quite does justice to the feeling of being lost but yes I still can see some hope or at least a wish for it in between the words.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad, I was able to deliver the message to you.

Thanks for stopping by. I am humbled by your words.

Devanshu

[Shivam Murari]

The poem comprehends the human nature to seek short cuts and then flows in the direction of desolation. "I wander like a string-less kite." The line is so on point.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Hi there! Your reviews are always wonderful. I'm glad you are back, after a long battle. lol

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[Shivam Murari]

Yea, the battles over! You're welcome. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Good strict use of discipline but it also depicts the feeling behind such restriction while not allowing emotion to rule.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading and reviewing the poem. Your reviews are always appreciated.

Devanshu

[Tate Morgan]

this is your best so far I think

[Devanshu Rajput]

Mr. Tate,

You got it right, Mr. Tate. To be honest, I devote this whole piece to you. Each and every thing employed in the poem, is what, you have taught me. Be it the meter, the rhyme, the inner rhyme and what not.

Humble regards,
Devanshu

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for bestowing me with the review, I take it as a gift for me, on my birthday. lol

read moreThanks for bestowing me with the review, I take it as a gift for me, on my birthday. lol

Devanshu

[Tate Morgan]

you have done well and i noticed happy birthday young man well done!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for privileging me with your wishes. One selfish request:- Wish that one day I will become a great writer. Lol

Devanshu

[Tate Morgan]

weall wish that As you know it isnt talent as much as it is practiice

[RiverRei]

This is definitely an interesting write. I like the format you used. I could feel everything the character was feeling as I read and that's always interesting to be able to connect with the piece. I've even felt this way before: glad, sad, mad...almost all at the same time. It can be very confusing. Very well written, thank you for sharing this with me :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad, I was able to execute my job perfectly. Thanks for the encouraging review. I appreciate it.

Devanshu

[Holly Mason]

Thoughts are deep here...
Depression ...it is a deep subject
So different for so many
This is a good write fine sir
Thank you for sharing

[Devanshu Rajput]

I really am very glad you are back.

Don't call me sir. Call me Dev.

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanhsu

[Lyndy]

I like the whole poem, it has a deep meaning and wonderfully written. Well done! ;)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a a beautiful review.

Devanshu

[Arunima]

KUDOS... great job with the rhyme scheme...

[Penny]

Reminds me of my poem 'Love me as it is!' ... so I love it as it is. Touching, nice message and great rhythm.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

good one Devanshu... but i feel that few moments of listening can save someone from it... can cite my personal experience where i went through hell.... only coz of my family that I could come back.... its about that constant support that one needs... but good poem indeed....

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading. Life is all about good and bad times.

Devanshu