Desolation

Life of a desolate. Let me make this clear:- The poem does not convey my feelings. It is just about someone who is a victim of depression, that's all!

I am sad and also sometimes glad,

Over the life to me bestowed.

Thinking about it makes me mad,

I should be striding on which road?

*

This life is brief and I am in grief,

I now hope for a ray of light.

Here, my life is like a fallen leaf

I wander like a string-less kite.

*

Even the satanic sky asks why,

 This cold world here is cruel to me,

 Rather than to live, I long to die,

Perhaps that way I can be free.

Author's Note

The poem adheres a strict syllable count of :- 9,8,9,8. And, rhyme scheme is also very strict. It is one of the toughest poem by me.

The poem is not about me, it is what I got in my mind, and then I let it flow in words. I am very positive by the way.

As always, the doors for critics are always welcome. Be harsh and strict while reviewing. I want to make this good.

I thank Sir Tate and Perkele.7885, for there kindness.

Thanks for stopping by and sparing time upon my work. Reading it is as same as honoring my efforts.

I firstly had named it "Introvert" but changed it and put "Pessimist". but soon after I again changed it to "Desolation" as many reviewers told me that, introversion and pessimism are different from depression. Thanks to those reviewers.

Image source:- Google

Devanshu

Reviews

[Ishita Dixit]

I wander like a stringless kite.
This can happen on more occasions than one.
As soon as I read this line, I thought that as a dreamer I can relate to it.
Just a thought.

Your poem is amazing. The rhyme scheme was good too.
The ideas were expressed brilliantly.
You are very cheerful and that's why its a pleasant surprise how you carved out a poem from the view point of a loner with such perfection!
Kudos!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the beautiful review. I'm glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[ROXANE DORSEY]

love this nice piece. thanks for sharing the talent you possess.

[sansrity sinha]

a lovely poem..
very nicely explained..i completely agree with the title as well..desolation suits perfectly..
wonderful job!
i loved the rhyming scheme..
thanks for sharing

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad to have received such a beautiful review.

Thanks for the compliment.

D

[dw817]

Yes, I can definitely see you followed a strict rhythm in here. That's not very easy to manage. I try to do this in my own poems.

As for your alias, Desolation is pretty bleak, how about Thoughtful ? Like your poem, it causes you to think.

Thanks for the submit !

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thank you very much. I am glad that you spared your time upon this piece. As, for the name, the present one has been put after changing three names. I started with, introversion then changed it to something, which I don't even remember. Some say this is fit some say not.

But, thanks for the advice. I will definetly give it a thought.

Take care.

D

[dw817]

Introversion, that was a name I went by years ago. Also Dreamwalker, Topaz, and Nymph. Best wishes in your future writing !

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Rhyme scheme is great, really helped the poem come together and just finishes it off.
I can relate to some of this as I struggle with depression.
Its pretty impressive that you wrote this without having depression.
This was deep and meaningful and really good.
Keep writing, i really enjoyed this poem.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Really thanks for stopping by and leaving behind such a beautuful review.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your welcome anytime :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Rhyming poems always attract and this poem has a special beauty, written and expressed so well

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for your compliments. I am glad u liked it.

[Mercy Fae]

Usually when I write poetry, I don't focus on a rhyme scheme, so the fact that you did is very respectable. The poem itself was amazing. The use of hyperbaton is mastered in the line: "Over the life to me bestowed"

[Devanshu Rajput]

Hyperbatons are inevitable in.rhyming poetries. Thanks forvreading.

[Riddhi]

Very nice poem and i liked author's note that "this poem is not about me".....HaHa.....Without reading definitely anyone will start thinking the main idea of the poem is connected with your real life...Just kidding...Keep it up and i really enjoyed reading it.......Eagerly waiting to read your next poem...Thanks for sharing...

[Devanshu Rajput]

Many people considered it to be biographical. Thanks forvreading.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and strong words for life.
"Even the satanic sky asks why,
This cold world here is cruel to me,
Rather than to live, I long to die,
Perhaps that way I can be free."
Life is chance and death is ending. Death isn't freedom. Nothing left but bone and dust with the ending of death. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. Made me think tonight.
Coyote