Limerick-3

An attempt to make you laugh!

There once was a man who had no hair

He feared from heat he could not bear

with the sun on his head

He can bake eggs and bread,

Which he promised some day he would share.

 

Author's Note

Please do help me to make it a real limerick. I appreciate your presence here. Thanks to alf and FT Ledrew, for granting more beauty to this piece,

Devanshu

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

Dear Devanshu,

Well it did make me laugh! Well done Limerick. Content was good, rhyming was good......syllables a litte out but that's ok, you made a mighty effort here my friend! A very worthy contest submission, thank you so much for joining in!

For the edification of others who are not sure what the format is, here is the form requirements for limericks.

A limerick is a humorous poem consisting of five lines.

The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables
while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm.

The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables,
and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm.

It all sounds very complicated but once you get the hang of it, it's smooth sailling!

Here is a link you might like to take a peek at poets

http://www.poetry4kids.com/blog/lessons/how-to-write-a-limerick/

[wordman]

a funny limerick,i believe you pulled it off

[Devanshu Rajput]

Glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome flow... awesome poem it made me laugh :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it, Aaron. Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

That is hilarious! I don't have any suggestions. The flow and rhyme are impeccable.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for both the compliments. Glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[DoormanDan]

I'm sorry to say I can't really help you make it into a real limerick, because I'm not experienced with that type of poetry. I can however say that this did succeed in making me laugh a little. Sometimes we all need to read something that has little to no relevance with anything serious in this increasingly serious world. Good job :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Indeed, laughing is very important. Thanks for reviewing.

Devanshu

[Emily]

Cute! Thanks for posting!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[Emily]

Any time! :)

[Perkele.7885]

Devanshu; I am unable to help you here as I know less about limericks than you do. There are many poets on here who are well versed in this form and will be glad to help you along. I find all the rules a bit tedious andI write poetry as a means of expression and not repression. Good luck in your endeavor.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Lol. Limerick is the synonym of 'restrictions' for me.

Thanks for another helping review.

Devanshu

[Elan Vital 23]

Not being an aficionado of the limerick form I hesitate to critique this work. I did not know until I read the other comments that the syllable count was 9,9,6,6,9, so I also learned from your commenters. I found your piece laughably smilable and entertaining. I think your limericks are improving.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Critiques are always welcome. Thanks for stopping by.

Give limerick a go, you will like it.

Devanshu

[George Peck]

I like it and I think it needs a little work but I saw you had a few suggestions already, so I won't both with anymore right now. I would love to read when revised as well. it was very good thank you for sharing.

[Devanshu Rajput]

The doors for suggestions are always welcome. No poetry is ever perfect. In fact, nothing can be ever perfect. If you suggestions, please do let me know.

Thanks for reading.

Devanshu

[Cara]

it's funny, liked it, thank you for sharing

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[Latifa]

very ironic and humorous, It made me giggle , thank you for sharing

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu