Limerick-3

An attempt to make you laugh!

There once was a man who had no hair

He feared from heat he could not bear

with the sun on his head

He can bake eggs and bread,

Which he promised some day he would share.

 

Author's Note

Please do help me to make it a real limerick. I appreciate your presence here. Thanks to alf and FT Ledrew, for granting more beauty to this piece,

Devanshu

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

Dear Devanshu,

Well it did make me laugh! Well done Limerick. Content was good, rhyming was good......syllables a litte out but that's ok, you made a mighty effort here my friend! A very worthy contest submission, thank you so much for joining in!

For the edification of others who are not sure what the format is, here is the form requirements for limericks.

A limerick is a humorous poem consisting of five lines.

The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables
while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm.

The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables,
and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm.

It all sounds very complicated but once you get the hang of it, it's smooth sailling!

Here is a link you might like to take a peek at poets

http://www.poetry4kids.com/blog/lessons/how-to-write-a-limerick/

[~]

ahaha :D a good laughter :D

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad.

Devanshu

[Abilash Uttama]

It's funny, nice work !... :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[Abilash Uttama]

You're welcome :)

[anne]

haha...interesting...:)....

[Pushkar Prabhat]

hahaha..........lovely.......
fun write.......but i will suggest don't take those eggs and bread even if he shares.......
i loved it!!!
:)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Lol

Ya, I will not. Thanks for the advice and wonderful review.

I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[sereenaoutloud]

so fun, To be honest i couldn't you write a limerick (never wrote one myself) but i can tell you this was well written, creative and really funny. You kept the rhyme throughout ! A pleasure to read!!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate them. Try limericks, they are fun!

Devanshu

[Maumil Mehraj]

Amazing how you maintained the rhyme scheme without compromising on the substance...
Funny and just right! Good work!
Maumil

[Devanshu Rajput]

Limerick is all about rhyme and meter, comprising with it will be just unfair. Glad you liked it.read moreLimerick is all about rhyme and meter, comprising with it will be just unfair. Glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[Maumil Mehraj]

sure thing!

[Kurai.Merodi]

Such a random and weird limerick.... I love it!! It's unique and I don't think there is anything quite like it. loved reading

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

Haha! This is a hilarious limerick. The concept is so unique and well-chosen. :) You've created something as normal as being bald into an amazing limaerick. Way to go! :)

He feared from heat he could not bear
We don't say ''fear from something'' but simply ''fear something'' e.g. ''I feared the lions'' not ''I feared from the lions''. So it should be ''He feared the heat he......''

Apart from this, the limerick is excellent! Well penned! Keep writing more. :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

I think you are right. You always give a deep insight of poem.

Thanks for the appreciation.

Devanshu

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

You're welcome! :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ok like you I have never attempted a limerick Devanshu and this has the humour. Have offered an alternative but still not sure. Maybe you should start a competition on the theme lol!
There once was a man with no hair
who feared that the heat would not bear
the midday sun on his head
cooking bacon and eggs
sunny side up medium rare.

[Devanshu Rajput]

A nice attempt out there! One thing:- Third and fourth line should rhyme. Keep in mind meter too!read moreA nice attempt out there! One thing:- Third and fourth line should rhyme. Keep in mind meter too!

I may think upon that. Lol. Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Ha I said I had never looked at limerick lol!

[iand63]

As a balding man I can empathise with this guy lol

[Devanshu Rajput]

lol. I too.

Thanks for reading.

Devanshu