I am a long forgotten soul

A poem written by me, for CHAUCERIAN RONDEL ~ Blue Rose Cafe Challenge!. Please read the note by me,after reading this.

 

I am a very long forgotten soul,

I have nothing of which I can take pride,        

I am dwindling with my every stride.

 

I am having no path to stroll,

Every time I try to try, I am thrown aside,            

I am a long forgotten soul.

In my life there is nothing like a goal, 

There is not even He with me as my Guide.          

There is no one to whom I can abide.

I am a long forgotten soul.   

Author's Note

It is a Chaucerian Rondel. Written for the following contest:-

http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/CHAUCERIAN-RONDEL-~-Blue-Rose-Cafe-Challenge%21/51208/

Thanks to Helena Mam, who helped improve it.

As, always, be critical while reviewing.

I thank, Tate, for teaching me effective use of meter, which I have employed here.

(Image source:- Google)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/42305475@N03/10005876675

Reviews

[Confuser]

Devanshu: I liked your poem very much and would like to say Congratulations on a job well done. It is so very somber and deep, but the tone is straightforward, as if to say I am what I am. It's interesting, and the character of the long forgotten soul seems somewhat nonemotional as if to say; no one cares; I am lost, why should I care; there is no hope at all, no matter how hard I try. Thank you so very much. Great work. Dale

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you like it.

Devanshu

[Confuser]

You're very welcome. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you! Dale

[Willard Wells]

I think your work has passed most of the critical critics and now we are left with a beautiful poem with possible soul. Thank you for sharing.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Ya, I have indeed. I am really thankful of yours.

Devanshu

[Mara]

Wow! This is a sad poem but it is beautiful

[Devanshu Rajput]

Glad you liked it. Thanks for the add. I look forward to read your works.

Devanshu

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Great to see someone willing to experiment with forms they are not familiar with and it seems you will develop well. This is full of emotion albeit sadness.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for all of your reviews. That means a lot to me.

Devanshu

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are welcome. You also stimulated me to try Chaucerian Rondel which I have just posted

[Devanshu Rajput]

Really? It made me feel special. I will have a look.

Devanshu

[andrew mitchell]

A sad but what a masterpiece. Well done

[....................]

True to form and passionately written... sad but beautiful lines!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[prajakta]

a very sad one,but a good one..loved it:-)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for your constructive review. I am humbled.

Devanshu

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

wow! its very nice .great

[B-poet]

Being accepted soulfully in a world full of differences remains to be the highest peak that loneliness has set upon us. Great work. A true illustration of ostracism :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the kind review. I am glad that I was able to deliver my message.

Devanshu

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the kind review. I am glad that I was able to deliver my message.

Devanshu

[Tom McRoberts]

I like this. The repetition of the titular line is a fantastic touch, like the protagonist it makes the poem feel like it's staggering, ever so slowly, forward. Keep it up!

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you felt the way I want the reader to feel.

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[Gurleen Saluja]

Well penned. As they say well begun is half done, the same follows in here. It describes well a state of lone or I shall say loneliness of a soul knitted with beautiful words. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it. I like receiving this kind words like this.

Devasnhu

[Gurleen Saluja]

You're welcome. :)