I am a long forgotten soul

A poem written by me, for CHAUCERIAN RONDEL ~ Blue Rose Cafe Challenge!. Please read the note by me,after reading this.

 

I am a very long forgotten soul,

I have nothing of which I can take pride,        

I am dwindling with my every stride.

 

I am having no path to stroll,

Every time I try to try, I am thrown aside,            

I am a long forgotten soul.

In my life there is nothing like a goal, 

There is not even He with me as my Guide.          

There is no one to whom I can abide.

I am a long forgotten soul.   

Author's Note

It is a Chaucerian Rondel. Written for the following contest:-

http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/CHAUCERIAN-RONDEL-~-Blue-Rose-Cafe-Challenge%21/51208/

Thanks to Helena Mam, who helped improve it.

As, always, be critical while reviewing.

I thank, Tate, for teaching me effective use of meter, which I have employed here.

(Image source:- Google)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/42305475@N03/10005876675

Reviews

[Confuser]

Devanshu: I liked your poem very much and would like to say Congratulations on a job well done. It is so very somber and deep, but the tone is straightforward, as if to say I am what I am. It's interesting, and the character of the long forgotten soul seems somewhat nonemotional as if to say; no one cares; I am lost, why should I care; there is no hope at all, no matter how hard I try. Thank you so very much. Great work. Dale

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am glad you like it.

Devanshu

[Confuser]

You're very welcome. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you! Dale

[Nami FallingDewdrops]

Its really deep Devanshu, actually touching.

[Ayushi Beura]

Its the most powerful means of expressing your emotions...I mean the way you have written it is just fabulous. The flow is really amazing...And I am sure everyone can relate it somewhere sometimes in their life.
Even I do so...This is awesome because of the way it is, No other words can replace it. Word power and rhyme scheme decorate it even more beautifully.

[emmajoy]

As an exercise, an experiment even.. you've achieved such a fine result and that of course, was your objective. However, there's a heavy sadness woven in the work that makes it less an achievement and more a spiritual or certainly an emotional release - true or not, tis very powerful.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Certainly it is. I think the poem is more for releasing internal emotions rather than acheving perfection. Main motive is to showcase yourself, if I by any means have achieved it I think I am there, where I longed to be.

Thanks for passing by and commenting. Highly privileged to have your words as review upon my work. I appreciate your insight.

D

[Renée]

Contests are fun and challenging.. I think you met that challenge and did a great job! Your poem sounds so forlorn when read aloud. Which is what I think you wanted... Well Done

[Holly Mason]

I will not forget you. Nice words .
P.s. just don't let them forget :)
I think everyone feels thrown aside sometimes.
You express much emotion in this.
Thank You for sharing, Holly

[Devanshu Rajput]

I will ensure that. Lol

Glad to see u. Thanks for your kind review.

Devanshu

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

You captured the sense of disllusionment and shattered life. I appreciate the way your voice flows in each stanza. Well written. Rajput.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for passing by and commenting upon my work
I appreciate it.

Devanshu

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chukwuebuka Benson]

I'm not passing by; I know you, my friend. Lol. Welcome.

[Devanshu Rajput]

..lol...to be honest , today i ain't on my regular device....i am operating another unfamilar device,,,,that's typing is difficult....i meant to write stopping by, not passing by.

i too know u....it is sometimes gud to laugh...lol...

take care..

[Chirag Kumar]

A piece of intense pessimism. The words you used to express the sadness was awesome. Excellent Devanshu :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks Mr. Kumar for all your kind reviews. I appreciate them.

Devanshu

[Mamta Vashisht]

Well i am not even around you as a poet to critically review your poem. I can just say it is an amazing poem with emotions all people feel sometime in their life. Enjoyed reading :-)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Don't say that please. Everyone is good. You really write great.

Thanks for those compliments.

Devanshu

[marcus]

such emptiness....sadness....

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading.

Devanshu

[Miss Sharon]

Nicely written though the content is sad. Congratulations on Poet of the year! ~Sharon

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for it. I am humbled by your words,

Devanshu