A Wish

hope you would enjoy my best piece written so far.......

My useless body, looks outside the window.

Sees the pleasant nature, 

comes a wish to run across the velvet grass.

The lovely rain makes me jealous,

 of children splashing in the puddles.

Once I want to wander,

 explore the fragrant flowers and the nectar fetching

 butterflies, in my garden.

The silent four corners of my room,

 reflect my helplessness and ask, 

 can my cursed body ever go out of the window?

The one who hears my unheard pain is the bed on which

 my body lies,

 since the time immemorial.

 

 

Author's Note

Thanks for reading.

Image credits goes to Google and http://www.flickr.com/photos/46987892@N05/6830788957

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Devanshu

It is with absolute joy I welcome you to this website.

I am simply another aspiring writer on here and I like reviewing the words of others.

Firstly, you are very young. The internet can be a dangerous place. Take your brother's advice and help, to use it well as you are doing here.

I looked at your profile and could easily roll back the years and see a commonality in interest in the writers you like. In fact I still admire them to this day.

I praise your passion for writing.

I can see already much talent from this beautifully composed piece which celebrates the beauty of the world and nature, whilst boxed in a bedroom , when you want to be out there and enjoy it.

Some of my writing is accessible to all and some is restricted to those who are over 18.

Such are the demands of maturity.

Please may I ask you one thing?

Please keep up your passion for writing and stay on this site, which I consider a secure environment so that we can all enjoy your well constructed words and see the world as you see it for the betterment of us all.

I have a notion at 14 that you can teach me more about life and perception than I could ever teach you at 53.

Be encouraged.

I loved this piece and its perfect simplicity.

Please do not worry about reading my writing. Some of it will be restricted.

I do not require your review, just that you keep a free spirit, an open mind and teach us all .

With my warm regards


James

[Devanshu Rajput]

thank for your response ! I would certainly consider your advice.I love people of guidance and boosting confidence, because I know this is how I will learn.

Take Care!

[Kousika]

Awesome work.. Hey what a great work man ..?? Kidding you are young.. ? Your writing is so matured..
The vocabulary is superb .. My best wishes.. Keep going and touch the sky.. :)))

[Devanshu Rajput]

No, I am not kidding. I am glad you liked it.

Thanks for the compliment and for making me friend.

Devanshu

[E G TEN]

Hey Dev, I had browsed on some of your work to get a better grasps
Of your bearings and what volume of words you concedes and
And yearns for in your writing. 15 years old kidding rigjt? You write like your 65, Noting
Lost bout your soul, just wondering about, although i can see that laid
Back, mellow~chill'o kind of dude in you, wish for the world and get
Out of that four corners, and expand your humble abode,,
Check you later! Thanks for the add :-)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for that much compliment. I am glad you are attributing so much of your time to my works. read moreThanks for that much compliment. I am glad you are attributing so much of your time to my works.

Helplessness is a curse upon human society. I am not that person who I want to convey in the poem, but still I can feel the needs of that fellow. What I will feel is not even the fraction of what the fellow suffers.

Thanks again for reading . I am humbled by your words.

See you later!

Cheers!

Devanshu

[Shekinah2015]

This is your best piece? That's fantastic! You have very well-developed vocabulary.

[Devanshu Rajput]

This used to be my best piece. Lol.

It is very old piece by me. I now have more writings, which I can call my best.

Thanks for the compliment. I am humbled by them.

Devanshu

[Prabha Salimath]

Very heart touchy poem Devanshu liked it and it is about a wish which is almost be a wish to that heart, if God's grace is not with that soul. Beautifully penned.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.

Devanshu

[Prabha Salimath]

You are welcome.

[andrew mitchell]

a fantastic write to be proud of. great work

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks Sir, for your kind words.

Devanshu

[Cassie]

I did enjoy, good one Devanshu

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks Cassie, I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[The dark story]

A smile of pleasure of exploring and walking with the sublime nature's tune is overshadowed by the saddness of helplessness. The desire for being alive again and live under the vibrant shade of happy times fills you to the core.

It is indeed a very elegant poem with simple diction. Your diction expresses your feelings so vividly. Thanks for sharing such a lovely piece.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for reading this. But, this are not my feelings. I have written for those who feels the same.

Thanks for reading.

Devanshu

[The dark story]

"Feels the same"…may I ask what is it?
Anyway…you are welcome :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

Semantics, those who feel helpless.

Devanshu

[The dark story]

Oh…where did I wrong!!??

[sereenaoutloud]

Great write my friend. You could feel the wish in each line! Nicely done

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you felt the way I made you.

Thanks for reading.

Devanshu

[Malen]

You have such a way with words.
**sighs into a daydream**

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks fo reading and reviewing. I apreciate it.

Devanshu

[Amulya Bhardwaj]

Makes you filled with pleasure and then helplessness....
Very nice write... You have a certain kind of talent of portraying things so beautifully....
Great going mate !!!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the complimet, I am really highly humbled by your words......Thanks for attributing your time and stopping by......

Devanshu

[Amulya Bhardwaj]

you're most welcm ...