A Wish

hope you would enjoy my best piece written so far.......

My useless body, looks outside the window.

Sees the pleasant nature, 

comes a wish to run across the velvet grass.

The lovely rain makes me jealous,

 of children splashing in the puddles.

Once I want to wander,

 explore the fragrant flowers and the nectar fetching

 butterflies, in my garden.

The silent four corners of my room,

 reflect my helplessness and ask, 

 can my cursed body ever go out of the window?

The one who hears my unheard pain is the bed on which

 my body lies,

 since the time immemorial.

 

 

Author's Note

Thanks for reading.

Image credits goes to Google and http://www.flickr.com/photos/46987892@N05/6830788957

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Devanshu

It is with absolute joy I welcome you to this website.

I am simply another aspiring writer on here and I like reviewing the words of others.

Firstly, you are very young. The internet can be a dangerous place. Take your brother's advice and help, to use it well as you are doing here.

I looked at your profile and could easily roll back the years and see a commonality in interest in the writers you like. In fact I still admire them to this day.

I praise your passion for writing.

I can see already much talent from this beautifully composed piece which celebrates the beauty of the world and nature, whilst boxed in a bedroom , when you want to be out there and enjoy it.

Some of my writing is accessible to all and some is restricted to those who are over 18.

Such are the demands of maturity.

Please may I ask you one thing?

Please keep up your passion for writing and stay on this site, which I consider a secure environment so that we can all enjoy your well constructed words and see the world as you see it for the betterment of us all.

I have a notion at 14 that you can teach me more about life and perception than I could ever teach you at 53.

Be encouraged.

I loved this piece and its perfect simplicity.

Please do not worry about reading my writing. Some of it will be restricted.

I do not require your review, just that you keep a free spirit, an open mind and teach us all .

With my warm regards


James

[Devanshu Rajput]

thank for your response ! I would certainly consider your advice.I love people of guidance and boosting confidence, because I know this is how I will learn.

Take Care!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Wow this was so full of emotion and so deep this poem has so much meaning to it.
All explaining how a sick person feels how there life would be. Them wanting to see the outside world, but only being able to look from the inside, never to leave there bed. This is a sad but good piece.
Well written indeed.

[Gurleen Saluja]

Beautiful write. To enjoy the nature and childhood again is my wish too. Well written. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Arunima]

A MASTERPIECE!!!:)Amazing...

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for it.

Devanshu

[Arunima]

I know your name.....(why do you write it down everytime?);p

[Devanshu Rajput]

I don't know, sorry.

Devanshu

[Arunima]

Again!!;p

[Devanshu Rajput]

Its my style.

Devanshu

[Arunima]

Oye,hoye!!:) :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

I like it very much. It's deeply description about nature and hope. It's wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This reads as though the person is restricted by something like agoraphobia. You capture the desperate longing and appreciation for the small things we all take for granted, until we cannot have them anymore, very well.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks, I am glad I was able to deliver my message.

Thanks for stopping by.

Devanshu

[paari]

A true Poem of the regrets one always has, be it one who is physically handicapped or spiritually disturbed. Time wasted does not come again and in today's world, time is always wasted. Every person always has some regret which sooner or later piles up on them like unread books. I enjoyed the read. The poem talks about the desire of a physically challenged person, to go out and enjoy nature, to be able to run through the thin long grass... Great poem. Thanks for sharing.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks Paari. It is really the case. Time and tide waits for none.

Devanshu

[wordman]

a great poem my friend,you walked me through your lovely garden

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for your kind words.

Devanshu

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Elan Vital 23]

I had a friend, now deceased, who lost one of his legs to diabetes. He was so determined to continue living and still got around in his wheelchair and on crutches. Your protagonist seems to have given up on these pursuits, such a sad and helpless feeling. It makes me want to make him a cup of tea and try to bring some joy. I've read 5 or 6 of your posts and they were almost all sad and defeatist. I feel you could use a cup of tea too. Try some of my posts, I'm pretty upbeat.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I had written it seeing a person who who was a child of lesser God. I am not a that sort of person. I write whatever pops up in my mind, immaterial whether it being sad one or happy.

Thanks for reading and stoppibng by.

Cheers,
Devanshu

[Perkele.7885]

I think that this piece is the best that you have ever written. I say this with honesty. Be proud of what you have accomplished.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks again. I have got incredible number of reviews by you.

Thanks again, for all the reviews that you have bestowed me with.

Devanshu

[rkiyer]

Hi Dev really proud :) your writing is mature way beyond to your age. All the very best . i hope i too can write something like this some day. Long way to go though

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks rkiyer. Life is what is all about. We need to spare sometime over the children of God.

Devanshu

[rkiyer]

Very Correct