Daddy Issues

 

i like to walk the city when its late,

too late for a Sweet Young Thing

 like me

to be out in the dark

daring the City to give me a part

of its pain

to lay some of its hurt in my hands-

to lay its hands on me.

 

i stood at the precipice

of a roof that was once my home

and smoked a cigarette

and contemplated Death.

But what have i to die for?

my own deserving insult-

the path i chose was Loneliness.

 

So i lie in these beds

with these brutes who love themselves

more than i, a wandering tramp,

content to strip off pieces of my soul

and feed them the fruit of my heart-

released into the wind again

i do not call upon good friends-

 

i have none.

 

i inherited these wandering feet

and this sugarcane spine

which only dissolves under pressure 

from my Father-

the man at the top of the stair

who was never there.

 

i inherited these spread-eagle legs

and this gluttonous heart

which only devours whatsoever it is given

from my Mother-

the wild, burbling Jabberwock

who snicker-snacked her way through my

self-devotion.

 

i a child, and she a child

as Peter Pan in Neverland,

i fell down the rabbit hole. 

Now, in the aftermaths of decapitation

at the hands of a Heartless Queen,

alive in Wonderland

I search for the ups in all my downs

because if every cloud

has a silver lining,

then there must be some good

in the thought that you were never there for me.

There are no Kings in fairytales

only Prince Charmings,

Damsels in Distresses,

who need a bit of rescuing-

 no Sword has ever

slayed my Demons-

only managed to sever me 

 

in half. 

 

Now only quarters of the woman i was

having donated my head 

i have built my own White Armor

from the shards of my silly Broken Heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Credit to Lewis Carroll for the Jabberwock and Alice in Wonderland quotes/references. And I INTENDED to say ALIVE in wonderland. Not a typo.

Reviews

[Cyrano]

I have an odd connection with this topic, and i know many girls who could relate and even more so benefit from reading this. Strangely this poem makes me feel good. if in fact this is drawn from experience then there is no way the author can be quarters of anything, not with this much ability.

[alan peter kelly]

phenomenally resolved...this site has some amazing writers...you are amongst those who have already inspired what I thought was a flagging will to write....intense...with turns of phrase of remarkable quality and maturity...immensely enjoyed...I will come back for more...

[sea lily]

i really enjoyed this.
parents are a huge part of who you are
which turns out to be a bad thing a lot of the time...
i liked the cynicism and disillusionment in this piece.

[lark]

i'm not sure what about this particular website makes it so hard to give a serious critique, but all i can say, most days, is something meaningless like, "this is beautiful."

and golly, there's some woman to my right ranting and clearing her throat like a sticky clutch and it's making it hard to concentrate.
b******s.


anyway, this is beautiful.
i think peter pan is my hero, and alice is nothalfbad either. i like the way you put them together, and i like the big picture. there are some line-by-line things i could suggest but i'm not sure you'd use it so whatevs. but if you want, i can give a more thorough critique.