Apathy is Productive

Cry for help now, this time with feeling.

I used to care so thickly

about everything.

I used to smile at strangers,

apologize for inconveniences

and make room in my thoughts for loved ones.

Now it seems a part of me

has gone to sleep in a shallow grave

and every morning starts the same-

does not matter the copious amounts

of coffee I drink

I cannot stay awake

when there is nothing to be wakeful for.

I am Motorized

driven by the heavy hands

of Obligation.

When I smile for my friends,

it is an automated response-

the gears turning tighter in my cheeks

to wind upwards the corners of my lips,

tiny lights attached to my corneas

to make my eyes sparkle-

it is all lifeless Robotics.

My skin is pale

and blackened underneath

from the oil in my arteries.

My heart beats ceaseless,

though I have no sensation

that it's there.

I long for restfulness

but my sleep is deep

-ly troubled.

I dream monstrous things

of the life I lived before-

the people I loved, the moments I treasured

the feelings I savored,

and I wake to bleak unconsciousness.

Things seem strange

and meaningless.

Objects have no value,

sounds have no melody,

touch has no feeling.

I have been hollowed.

There is no comfort anywhere

and no pain.

I want it to end-

and to begin.

I have no appetite for Death,

and I appear incapable of Life.

God Help Me if this is the rest of it.

Reviews

[James Paulin]

Mesmerizing! Excellent in form, theme and verse..

[fireblossom]

You touched a place we have all been and may be again. Hopefully not to stay long.

I thought this was a statue for apathy planted in the town square...no need to say more after this.

Well done.