Today my Bathtub Gave Birth

Today my bathtub gave birth to a human baby boy

It doesn’t make sense
Well I guess it’s not supposed to make sense

He grew from the faucet with his umbilical cord attached

He heard the screams and cries and turned his wrinkled face into a sour frown

Oh baby boy how you’re in for a treat

He walked his way to the playroom in a quant apartment in a nowhere town

The scary f****r with the booming voice

He took the rainbow with his bare fists and smashed her face in with all the rage in his heart

Oh don’t cry baby boy save those tears for later

The words oh the words broke through the glass

The shards came shooting at poor baby boy like daggers

They cut him left and right

So baby boy grew himself a nice leather skin 

Damaged yes but baby boy learned to keep himself safe good job

Baby boy walked himself to the kitchen only to see that the scary f****r with the booming voice brought a friend

The mist was blinding and it seared his eyes shut until baby boy could no longer see

So he felt his way around the dark with his aching fingertips

No pity for baby boy the worst is yet to come

Baby boy don’t trust anyone for your peers are all temporary

You can’t let anyone close enough to hurt you like the scary f**k had hurt her

It will be your undoing

So baby boy made his way around the house and befriended the can of soup

He befriended the piece of lint under the radiator

He befriended the thorn that had fallen from the overgrown rose bush

If only for a fleeting moment

Then he had to go because baby boy remembered not to f*****g trust anyone

Not even the soft peach with the fuzzy underside whose juices moved you to tears

It’s okay baby boy your peers are temporary

Baby learned to walk alone without the umbilical chord such an independent boy

Poor baby boy why do you cast your eyes down as if you were ashamed of your essence

I guess he lacked the warm circulation of blood to support his head as well as his heart