Schizophrenia.

Prose Poem Prompt

Schizophrenia.

 

            He is born of longing and a careless fantasy.  Unlikely, improbable, but alive. 

His thin face is lined with worry and age, embraced by cigarette smoke.  In his steely eyes there is madness like a burnt flower. 

He is so inevitably beautiful, this one, and so fragile - a relic of an age that must not be forgiven.  The blend between the Nazi determination and the Communist strife within him is intoxicating, like the dream he had walked out of.

            Ferris.   The leader.   Never to be touched.

            Love is a curious little b***h.  It always comes uninvited.  Sometimes, it is not love at all.  It’s a nightmare.

            That’s when miracles become possible and a man sewn of evil comes walking out of your dreams into the arms of his lover and his friends.  You are left there, standing, watching.  Not welcome.  Bystander.  Creator.

            Soon, a universe grows out of this improbable seed; an entire boundless living universe. 

He spins his web, spreads his wings, loads his missiles. 

Hitler's fine men come marching through the streets. 

The grin spreads.

Millions come, laughing, into the trap, and you, too, are drawn by his universal magnetism, inevitably in love with your own creation.

Reviews

[RM Americano]

Interesting, and very ominous.

I think the most powerful line is where you convey this evil's creation as a "miracle." It's certainly miraculous to see a dream come to life but the idea that miracles can bring forth evil is an idea I'd never contemplated before.

[Winslow Des Totes]

This reminds me of a dream where you feel you are awake. All at once a rush of subconscious thought floods the reality in which you live your waking life. Of course that is only my interpretation. Such strong diction carries my mind far, as every word gives way to a dozen references. Psychology, to me is what poetry is made of. :D I digress, this is of a professional grade and I will be sure to read more of you inspiring works!

[Seshat Nidaba]

I love that you attempted this. We all live in the dellusions of our projections, interesting how there are various degrees of this.

You captured much of an alternate reality with a very rich vocabulary.

[Alessander]

Hey, you responded to the AMP prompt! YAY!

on that note, I think you did a really good job of interspersing the prosaic with the poetic. I think you went with the more "surreal" option of the prose poem, which is fine, cuz I personally prefer those. Technically, you didn't stretch all lines to the end of the right margin, but I won't deduct any points for that ;)

To me, this poem seems like the profile of a Cult Leader or manevolent genius, a sort of Hitler Stalin Napoleon in rolled up into one - and the person adressed is the follower, how maybe those "saviors" are actually an active creation by the masses. It's an interesting inversion as most followers are viewed as passively worshiping, when here it seems like the poem is saying the opposite, that the worshippers are actively CREATING an ideal in their own minds, enslaving themselves.

This def has undertones of Rimbaud and Baudelaire. Others have touched on certain striking aphorisms which liven up the "prose" format. Great job!

I'll be sending other prompts, and hopefully your response will be as enjoyable as this piece!

[emmajoy]

Great writing, powerful, punchy, raising the temperature in a strangely easy flow of words. And yes, so easy to be lured into evil's circle, the excitement of the dance, the march, the love .. an impassioned plea to join what just might not be sincere passion, two faces of emotion ..

[fireblossom]

I like this edgy art. Madness like a burnt flower, loves a curious little b***h...evocative language adding to the tension of this well written piece.