It Seems Lately

Feel like it can be better...but yea... booyah!

It seems lately gravity is favoring you, bringing thoughts of you down into my mind from the clouds made of all the things I've been missing.

It seems lately your atmosphere is surrounding me and I cant help but lose my breath as you approach me, as if oxygen isn't enough.

It seems lately my lungs are at a disadvantage, barely managing the beats my heart skip when your fingers find the time to entwine with mine.

She has a body like a lottery ticket, makes you sweat just scratching the surface.

The voice of a Broadway show and a smile I cannot interpret.

Hidden behind the curtain.

She has the eyes of admiration, and the skin of a star formation…a perfect constellation.

A flower with perfect pollination.

A paragraph with perfect punctuation.

She’s an A plus…and she somehow looked my way.

It seems lately I cannot look away and the winds of change are slowly whispering your name.

And I can rhyme all day about your beautiful face.

I can time out the words at just the right pace…but I think the rhyme is sometimes overrated.

And I should just speak from the heart until my chest is an empty shotgun shell and I just hope I hit my target.

I can hope my desires to be fulfilled and wish expectations are not the end of me.

The lonely streets where dreams are to high to reach...skyscrapers…and I was just a man with no clearance.

But it seems lately that gravity is favoring you…and I can feel you within my reach…

Author's Note

Let me know what you think :)

Reviews

[DaniElle LaPointe]

Love this one. Very much.

[Eddie Phillips]

You already know I love your use of metaphor and the way you construct a thought. This poem is just more proof of why I love to read your writing. It is always entertaining and thoughtful. I enjoyed this poem.

[lovejulez03]

"She has the eyes of admiration, and the skin of a star formation…a perfect constellation.
A flower with perfect pollination" favorite line for me, I'm not sure why though :) This was thoughtful and lovely to read!

[Derek Nall]

:) :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

She has a body like a lottery ticket, makes you sweat just scratching the surface -- This line just jumped out and grabbed my by the throat...loved it! haha

On a whole, I like the stream of conciousness feel of this. There is emotion here and a bit of good imagery that really seems to work well in your overall concept. Now, the form is more "prose" than poetry, which isn't a bad thing. I read it as prose, and perhaps you should format it in that way--more of a paragraph format...? I don't know...because the flow is a bit off. Overall, though, I enjoyed the words and the ideas here.

[Derek Nall]

I agree, I've been having a hard time getting things down lately...writers block maybe? I'm not sure haha. I may edit this at a later point. Thanks a ton for the constructive review, really appreciate it!