The shore path women

A young man is going threw some trouble about who he wants to be, finally he get's answers from the dead.

Shore Path Women

                    Life is crazy, full of mysteries, you never know what might come out of it. Twenty minutes from now, you could be dead, alive, or a million air. You could drive by someone in a 2014 Mercedes-Benz, and you could think a million things. their rich, they love life, there snobs, and many more. You wouldn’t think, that person hates life, right? It’s not about what you have, it’s about what you make out of life, that will determine your happiness. Some people are happy living paycheck to paycheck, rather than rolling in money.

                  Brady Temple, walked down the shore path in beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine. As you walk down the shore path, if you look right, you see beautiful Inn’s, bed and breakfasts, cottages, and much more. If you look to the left, you see the Atlantic ocean. It’s a magical place, if you have the right feeling. Brady found a bench in front of the Bar Harbor Inn. It’s 11:45 at night, warm, summer, and he is by himself. “Perfect” Brady said to himself. He smoked a few cigars, and listened to Pearl Jam.

               As people stopped walking the path, finally Brady lit up a joint. He only got a few puff’s off it, when someone started walking down the path. He put out his joint and acted as nothing was going on. A women came around the corner. Brady looked her over jet black hair, tan skin, white dress, late twenties, early thirties, and she had no shoes on. She was beautiful. Brady wanted to talk to her so bad, but why would a girl like that talk to a eightteen year old kid? When she got close enough, she smiled at him and sat down right next to him.

            “What brings you out this late?” The women asked.

“Nothing really, I don’t have to work in the morning, and all my friends are out of town tonight” Brandy put his hand out “I’m brady” Brady and the women shook hands “ Nice to meet you” The women said. Brady wanting to know her name.

“ Tell me about yourself” The women asked.

“ Well, i’m eighteen, I work at the Bar Harbor grand hotel, and also I live there. I’m from Newport, Maine. I’m just here enjoying my summer” Brady not really sure what else to say.

“ Are you happy though?” The women looked Brady right in the eye, with a warm safe look.

“Yeah, for the most part, I think I am.” Brady starting to feel uncomfortable.

“Stop caring what other people think, stop living your life in a shell, stop changing for people that won’t change for, stop trying to be someone you’re not.” The women looked at Brady and continued “You’re going to live a great life, but stop living a fake one. Be happy living your life, not the life everyone wants. Because, at the end of the day it may not make you happy.” The women got up and left.

           Her words of wisdom hit him, she was right he was living like that. Brady sat there for another hour, smoked cigars and joints, finally heading back to his hotel/small apartment. The next morning, he was watching the news as he drank his coffee. Women found dead on the shore path this morning. Brady broke into tears, “I found my new angel” brady had a smile behind those tears.

      

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

The concept for the story has some promise, but the execution, to be frank, is just not good enough by any stretch. If you are at all serious about writing, you can't have the glaring grammar mistakes that are in this piece--the your/you're mistakes, the tense errors, the singular/plural confusion. If the grammar is bad--and it is quite bad here--you lose any chance of getting your message across here. As far as non grammar issues, one of the things you want to work on is having your situations and dialogue be more natural--this is a little too contrived, a little too forced. Visualize what people do, how people hold conversations, and write that. You have a nice idea here, and if you are willing to put in the considerable work needed to clean this up, you may have a nice story here.