and I'd love to

heartache

become numb 
with zero senses. 
disable the right 
to feel your hands 
run across my back 
or your lips wet mine 
not from actuality, 
but from memory 

that's how bad it is. 

and I'D love to 
strangle each step 
that led towards this 
very moment 
and vomit my hearts 
frustrations 
into your mouth 
so you can taste 
taste 
how existing with you 
touched every bud 
on my tongue. 

and I'D love to 
rewind...fast forward 
go back...move on 
see you...forget you 
erase dissolve disappear 
scream cry imagine dream 
keep 
hold on to 
another possibility. 

you'd love to. 
you would have loved to. 
you dont love to 
anymore. 

and I'd love to 
...I'd love to 
know 
what really exists 
anymore besides 
hopeless romantics 
that write poems about 
the less hopeful antics 
but I'm just on my emotional 
dramatics 
its... 
pointless.