Pasting Bandages

Pasting Bandages

A Poem by demureminds

Pasting bandages 

to keep my limbs intact, 

cleaved together,

each day an increment of skeleton

gets a little more brittle

a little more frail. 


Tracing the sticky adhesive

scarred on as leftovers

of dirt and past fractures,

I wait for days at a time

for the subtle disjunctions

to repair themselves.


Bone marrow on the brink

of drying out,

and turning to cement,

secure muscles on the fringe

of tightening up,

winding too far around

tense tendons,

all of me about to crumble

in a chaos of 

surrender,

grenades still unstopping.

© 2012 demureminds


Author's Note

demureminds
Unsure of whether or not I should get rid of the last line?

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Reviews

I wouldn't suggest you get rid of it, but I wouldn't say you shouldn't keep it as well. The last line has a matching concept; actually, a perfect ending to your brilliant poem. I would suggest rephrasing it and changing how you present the line. Nonetheless, this was one of my favorite poems from you.

Posted 12 Years Ago


demureminds

12 Years Ago

Hmm, I suppose without, the poem would represent a completely different concept. Thanks for the inpu.. read more
could be grenades still ticking, or as you suggest, leave it out. This is very raw. I also think you meant to say scarred, not scared...I may be wrong..99% of the poems on here are bleak so I'm getting used to them...I tend to come from a happier place....There were many great lines though, you have a way with words

Posted 12 Years Ago


demureminds

12 Years Ago

Oh yeah I did mean scarred, oops, thanks haha. Yeah I tend to write a lot when I'm feeling down, jus.. read more
Dr. Wood ?

12 Years Ago

no worries...enjoy your day
eesh.. i hope your health is okay.. this sounds very serious..

if so, healing thoughts sent your way this day for much more healthier days to come..

wonderful poem as always my friend..

I dont normally give writing advice, especially to someone with your talent.. but if your questioning the last line an alternative could be something like:


grenade held tight
pin tossed to fate

otherwise, i think its great as it is

:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


demureminds

12 Years Ago

Haha I am fine, it's just metaphorically how I feel sometimes about my life.

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Added on August 3, 2012
Last Updated on August 4, 2012

Author

demureminds
demureminds

San Diego, CA



About
20. California, US. Student: Bio Major. Coffee Enthusiast. Occasional writer. Read if you please. more..

Writing
a1one a1one

A Poem by demureminds