Maybe

^{I can feel your heart breaking,}

^{I can hear your breath shaking,}

^{Every word that I say}

^{Cuts you deeper each day.}

 

^{Let me dry your tears,}

^{Let me ease your fears,}

^{I can't handle your pain,}

^{I can't stand it.}

 

^{Let me take your hand,}

^{Let's walk through the sand,}

^{Hear me out,}

^{I can't take it.}

 

^{Tell me how I can fix it,}

^{I have to know,}

^{Tell me how I can heal you,}

^{I need to know.}

 

^{I need you to know what I do is for you,}

^{I want you to know every word is true,}

^{I have to show you...}

 

^{Every cut from this razor,}

^{The deepest pain,}

^{Every drop of my blood}

^{My soul's sad stain.}

 

^{I'm leaving this world tonight,}

^{I'm leaving without you,}

^{I'm leaving this pain behind}

^{Please know I love you.}

 

^{Do you see?}

^{Your name carved into me.}

^{The deepest love I can give,}

^{Eternal scars.}

 

^{Hold me tight,}

^{As long as you can,}

^{Hold me all night,}

^{Take my hand.}

 

^{Can you feel me slipping?}

^{The blood still dripping.}

^{Can you feel me gripping}

^{What's left of my love...}

 

^{Goodbye forever,}

^{Please remember me}

^{Think of me whenever,}

^{And you'll find, there I'll be.}

 

^{I love you.}

Author's Note

No good with endings, just something random I came up with. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Eidolon Michael]

I really liked it. I especially liked this part:

"I need you to know what I do is for you
I want you to know every word is true
I have to show you..."

That part is very nice and relates to me somehow...
Well, enough of my rambling. I really liked it and would like to read more of your poems, if that's ok with you... I don't want to bother you with annoying and meaningless reviews...
P.S. The ending was perfect.

[Somebody you've already..]

this is the one i read. it got me hooked. great write.

[Michael Carr]

Yeah, the ending it a bit random I'll admit but at the same time it ends with a bit of genuine emotion and some simplicity in an otheriwse complex piece. you imagery is pretty darn good. this may be the first time I say this about a piece I thought was good, it could be a bit shorter, its fantastic as it stands but it also does drag a bit halfway, especially during the cutting parts which come off a bit melodramatic.
I give you props for avoiding the, how do i say this, "totally emo" way of writing sad poetry.
it's a very find piece still, despite my crit, and I know you'll def continue to hone your talents as a writer.
kudos man.
kudos indeed.

[Cคɾเ&#..]

That was so beautifully heart wrenching. good job.

[Encore]

You need to keep consistent with your rhyming, but other than that, it was a very lovely piece.
No worries, I don't think anyone is good at endings.

[Bryan A.]

Lol, thanks.

[playful>Julie xD]

(julie) I loved the whole poem mostly couse it was bout me. I loved the ending. this poem steal makes me cry. jayla almost cryed.

(jayla) ya It was a good poem. I was not, I got something in my eye, jezz.

(julie) ya right.

[Looouise]

Do you see?
Your name carved into me.
The deepest love I can give,
Eternal scars.

personally,
that is my favourite stanza.
That's a pretty good poem.
There was nothing wrong with the ending.
:]

[Stephanie]

I thought it was really emotional, really good! I especially love the first stanza. It definitely set the tone for the whole thing and wow! I think the ending was good too. A simple "i love you" never fails :)

[BeautifulDisaster]

Wow it was so emotional.
I could feel the pain in it.
I hope it's not true.
But anyways really good job.