Time Valued

Time is man's worst enemy
We have been fighting against it
Time is uncontrollable
We TOTALLY have a lot of time

When we are running out of time
We value time so much
When we are enjoying it
Time flies so fast

On the other hand, Time is super slow
When we are noticing time time
Time attempts to freeze
Just to bother us

Our dreams is really important,
Following our dream takes time
The time to achieve such a thing
It may take almost a whole life time

Even with a whole lifetime,
We may not be able to achieve it
Time will come back and haunt us
Time comes and takes everything away

When in need of time
Rushing without stopping
Desperate for more time
Using all the amount of time we currently have

Using time for useful and non useful things
We all have a certain way to use it
It very much affects us in the end
Things done and things haven't done

We much do what we desire
Within the amount of time we have
Do what we want
Leave this world with no regret...

Reviews

[...]

... a lot of people think that genius lies in simplicity ... and i'm one of them ... a lot of people think that genius is the ability to simplify something that is complex by examining its various facets and dimensions ... and i belong to that category too ... hence i think that this verse from you is sheer genius ... for its simplicity (and for me it is definitely not simplistic) ... and for its detailed and immensely poetic analysis of the different facets and dimensions of time ... and i'd like to share another observation about this verse ... if you read it backwards ... that is from the 8th stanza to the 1st ... it still makes complete sense ... and that's not something that can be said about a lot of verses ... you exhibit a rare clarity of thought ... remarkable ... the first stanza is great ... the last line stands out ... the word "totally" has been highlighted well ... the second stanza is great too ... you bring out the way we experience time well ... the third stanza is brilliant ... especially the second and fourth lines ... (in the fourth stanza i think there is an extra 's' in "dreams") ... the fourth stanza is again brilliant ... the weaving of the dream with how it may take a lifetime to achieve it is beautifully done ... the fifth stanza is moving and profound ... especially the fourth line ... in the sixth stanza ... in the second line ... i'd recommend "we're" before "rushing without stopping" ... and in the the third line ... i'd go with "in our desperation for more time" instead of "desperate for more time" ... but these are minor suggestions ... even without them ... the sixth stanza is powerful for the way it highlights the paucity of time that we often experience ... in the fourth line of the seventh stanza ... i'd go with "things we haven't done" instead of "things haven't done" ... minor suggestion again ... and even without it ... this stanza talks beautifully and sensibly about utilizing time ... in the third line of the last stanza ... i'd go with "and do what we want" instead of "do what we want" ... and in the last line ... i'd go with "to leave" instead of "leave" ... minor suggestions yet again ... for even without these ... you state a simple and profound truth with immaculate ease ... till a few months back ... i didn't know what to do with my time ... i didn't know how to achieve a balance between what i wanted to do and what i wanted to do with my time ... but now that i have ... or at least have to a great extent ... i totally "get" this verse and identify with it completely ... a 100 for your wisdom ... and for your fluid and earnest writing style ...

[SarahCortland]

really love this!

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

What I like best about this poem is your message. Life is short so we must live it to the fullest. However some errors are too distracting:

Our dreams *ARE really important,
Following our dream takes time
The time to achieve such a thing (perhaps you can use a word better than THING?)
It may take almost a whole life time

You have great ideas. Improve more on your structure and form to make your craft better.

Good luck!
Alex

[MissWordSmith]

this was great but a little Utopian. the last stanza was too "it it easy to do it right"
in truth, time is more complicated.
the subject was nice but I felt like you could have expanded with the vocabulary here. your words were easy to relate to, but too simple. you should try to make this piece a little more interesting and with more mystery to it. after all, time is mysterious.

[untoldtruth]

another good job. makes me think about how i feel about time and how it feels rushed

[Saturn's Lover]

Yes, i found this to be quite truthful indeed.

[Daydreamer54]

Wow this ws very measninful. Though keep seeing the word "time" a lot kind of made me dizzy! lol! but overall i really liked it. :)

[Wicahpi]

Time "there isn't enough of it"
or when I want it to go slow, it's gone in a blink.
Totally can't relate to your thought process.

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is very true. Time is very valuable. In most cases we learn too late. The should of had, leave us wishing for a different past. I like this poem. Wisdom in these words. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote