Great

 

Great

 

The fact of the matter is

That I fucked up;

Literally, and figuratively.

An excuse to all,

And a memory to none.

The breaker and once always;

The broken.

In essence, a tear is my will.

And my blood,

And beat,

The signature.

Stomach to well up,

Dry and shut.

What to do now

Instead of fix?

Finding no way thus,

Why have I stopped the flow?;

The ride?

Not to try…

Mockery is my name today,

And for this, all days to come.

I can’t even begin to say

Five lettered word so much.

Meaning to value

Equals none now due to

Overexposure.

She won’t believe,

But to criticize

And run

Will be the game becoming.

 

But mostly is breaking

And the ideal to prove.

Not for emotion.

No no, something much more

In worth.

Much much more then everything and all

Even god,

Whom not to be afraid of.

A friend to be willed.

Nor a demonic conjured.

But that of her.

I to prove this?

This out of all such?

But my f*****g love?

Thanks but no thanks.

 

Tis my turn to run from pain,

The summon Amnia,

My mirror of torment,

A terrifying being

To reflect my own.

Bow my head in reverence,

For this grave of love.

I won’t put to rest yet,

Nor marathon such thinking…

But put it away.

I wish for no more pain,

No more firing

From either side.

A world created,

Based on foundations of hearts.

We can’t even stop the rivers now

From turning to blood dealing the bleeding.

 

My words fall to deaf,

And the worlds within,

Quake these roofs.

The shelter I found in said arms.

I am conquered.

I am failed.

I am out of love.

 

To keep such…

Foreboding retirement

From you my loving…

I must for us both.

 

To deal with sorry’d swords,

And a crimsoned blade

Together.

This is the idea of the fight.

The fight for me.

The fight for you.

The fight for us.

 

Give me up, not.

Or I shall join the dead;

 

And Abaddon

I become.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I am conquered.

I am failed.

I am out of love.

These lines caught my eyes as I sometimes think that that precise moment of being out of love is the time to start thinking properly. But they also make me think have I ever really been in love. Is there life beyond love and is it worth having. Is it better, purer, than life in love? Doesn't love just exhaust us?

[Jaclyn]

This font is sort of hard to read...

I have to agree and disagree with everyone. There were things about this poem were so awesome that they just blew me away. In particular, the lines that Orlando picked out were fantastic: I am conquered. I am failed. I am out of love. Ugh, it just stabs you right in the heart.

Still, I read this a few times, and as a whole, this felt more like a stream of consciousness than a poem. It was sort of disjointed and fragmented. I definitely think it has potential, but there's gotta be some sort of...cohesiveness that I wasn't getting. Also, the references to gods or whoever those references were about...I just didn't get it. I'm sorry. :(

Keep working on it though because I can definitely see this going somewhere wonderful.

[BrightEyes]

awesome write here - there is so much to take in - from the smooth flow, to the wonderfully descriptive and unique wording - to the profound meaning behind those words. I needed to peruse this a few times in order to take it all in - not a bad thing. fantastic job - I'm glad GG decided to send this to me, oh and Cat too lol.

laura

[SweetPeachesAlways]

My mirror of torment, - well said!
Good job....lots of stunning visualizations...

[Sarah Hale]

I LIKE IT! ^-^

[Floating on the feather..]

A very captivating write.
Very amazing a piece.
It held me like glue from beginning to the end. Priceless.

Great write.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A piece that truly makes one think about love and all its intricacies. Enjoy the solitude I say if you find yourself that way and as for if you are in love well enjoy that too because one never knows how long it will last - it is so fleeting at times. The heart may be overpowered by the mind and its logical undertakings. Well expressed work with much to contemplate. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Just Manoosh]

I quiet simply loved this piece .... I can hear it being said, I am wishing once upon a time it was said, said to me.

Such a powerful and unique write honey, I am going to be thinking of this piece all day.

Mx

[Tenten]

wow, amazing mind blowing heart equal beating, this piece captivated so much and just matched my heart a beautiful piece of art in words i love it. the start the middle the ending all of it is captivating and makes me think and feel. one of the best i've read i a long while.

[October]

This is powerful.
I liked it.
I can feel your emotions through the page.

It's something we all can relate to.