All I know

I dont know...

You are falling away from me,

The deeper I go in my mind,

the more distant you become.

I think of you always,

Know that the memories are good,

And thoughts not always bad,

though you hear alot of it,

I still do smile when I think of you.

I have tried to help all I can,

But it is seemingly impossible,

When I can't even look at you,

No way to bounce a conversation,

I try to type my thoughts,

and its just sentences,

scattered emotions.

I say the wrong things,

I know that I do when its too late,

perhaps hearing that you cry,

helps make me to think that way.

Or maybe its the honesty of it,

My words hence my truth right or not,

that hurts so badly,

both of us.

I hate myself that I cannot be one way,

give you only what you need from me,

and leave out all the rest,

Believe me I want you,

By my side and really with me,

but talking is just a tease.

A tease that has carried on,

No matter what actions or thought,

in either of our worlds or minds,

for as long as you have been gone,

And then it stops,

Usually suddenly and inopportune,

and worry and madness ensue,

with thoughts and desires of the distant you.

I cant read your mind my love,

Sometimes I wish I could,

But I know I wouldnt,

I couldnt imagine,

the constant fighting,

and ripping thoughts,

That you mention is our talks.

All I do is wish anymore,

I wish that you were here,

I wish that we were together,

I wish we could start a future,

I wish we knew that we wanted,

to be with eachother forever.

I wish I could hold you,

I wish I could kiss you,

I wish I could watch after you,

I wish I could comfort you,

and tell you that things will be alright.

If it is meant to be it is meant to be,

holding on is not the way,

or so I have come to be thinking,

in my deep thoughts every day.

It just makes me want you now,

every sweet goodnight,

every time I hear your voice,

telling me you love me,

from so far away.

It makes me miss you more and more,

and long for closure on the distance,

but wishing will not make it so,

you are there and I am here,

and it is all I know.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Jeremy Cooney]

"I...I, I....can't...live...within...you."

I see the influence of this in the poem. Very touching brother.

"I am the romancer. The fiery passion that consumes the flesh."
-Seal of Fire