Ricochets at the Water Park and what NOT to teach a kid

There's nothing like alcohol to make a stupid idea seem brilliant.

A friend of my girl has a ten year old son with no father. 

He wanted to go to Adventure Island water park in Tampa. 

Somehow I got volunteered to take the little wiener. 

Two women were in on this so no way was I getting out of it. 

Besides, we're talking about a water park full of water slides

and wall to wall dripping wet girls in bikinis running around giggling. 

It's not going to take much convincing to get me interested in that. 

So I took little wiener to the water park. 

Little wiener was fascinated by my service in the corps. 

So he asked me about thirty thousand questions on the drive up. 

Some were serious, other were silly.

Like how many people had I'd killed 

and what color socks did Saddam Hussein wear. 

He seemed disappointed when I told him there are some things you DO NOT 

ask veterans and that I'd never met Saddam Hussein.

But he kept on asking questions. 

I humored him as best I could but he was starting to drive me crazy.

I thought. "This might not have been such a swell idea." 

Finally we got to Adventure Island and we actually had a great time. 

There were plenty of dripping wet girls in bikinis 

running around giggling so I was mightily entertained 

and both little wiener and I had a ball on all the water slides. 

Little wiener didn't pay much attention to the giggling bikini girls. 

I thought "puberty hasn't kicked in yet." Which was great.

He should have all the innocent fun he can in his childhood years

because puberty is going to f**k all that up eight ways from Sunday. 

It sure as s**t happened to me that way. 

Little wiener slept for most of the drive home. 

I was relieved for the hour of silence this provided. 

Then when we got home and we all gathered for dinner 

and us grownups had some wine I had a major lapse of judgment.

While the girls were in the house doing whatever it is girls do in the house 

I took little wiener outside and taught him how to make a flamethrower 

with an aerosol can and a Bic lighter.  

I thought he should experience the sheer joy of flames spitting from 

a can of raid and the cool a*s sound the aerosol and oxygen makes when 

it hits that lighter before puberty fucked his life up and took some of the boyhood wonder out of doing really stupid s**t.

This was basic boy stuff 101 when I was growing up.

He thought it was the coolest thing that ever happened in his life.

A United States Marine had taught him how to make a flame thrower.

In boydom  it doesn't get much cooler than that.

His mother however had a very different take on the situation. 

When she found out I was the one who taught him that trick, oh boy.

She went screaming to my girl and my girl came screaming to me.

Man was I ever in the hot seat for that one. 

I know I shouldn't have taught him how to make a flamethrower.

But still, boys love destructive, powerful things.

And some women don't get that. 

Reviews

[hardeep sabharwal]

Very nicely told this incident, I enjoyed reading

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Hardeep

[Pax]

having a glimpse in your life, my friend is entertianing as your poetry are. You write them well, a good story. Our culture really varies, I see that here, yet one thing that didn't change like how human nature is set - some boys do likes powerful things... and some dont; haha..... now I wonder if your girlfriend is reading your works online or any other friend or family ... well written, my friend..

[Baby Ricochet]

It is true A more artistic, sensitive type wouldn't go for improvised weaponry. Julie reads pretty much everything I write before I post it. She's kind of my editor

[Marie]

You don't write prose often enough' you're amazingly good at it.
I think teaching this little boy to make a flame thrower was way cool. He'll never forget it. It's not something he's going to use for violence or terrorism just because he learned it.

[Baby Ricochet]

I didn't think so. Thank you Marie

[Lyn Anderson]

If I had a boy, I'd be thrilled to have him be shown that stuff. Hell, myself and my girls might appreciate it too. I grew up with lawn darts and real chemistry sets and actual 22s and killing partridges, so I guess I am not "that kinda girl"

[Baby Ricochet]

I grew up in the rural south where hunting, fishing and camping was a way of life so I hear you KL. Our world was a different place

[Matching Socks]

Awesome. Just awesome! :)
I'm going to totally take your side here but that's because the 10 yr old is not mine.
I might have a different opinion if he were.
Still, I see the value in your mentorship.

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Thank ANA

[Matching Socks]

Any time, if you need me to email your girl an endorsement of your 'coaching' tactics let me know...

[Baby Ricochet]

LMAO!!! Will do

[Laura Lynn]

Yeah, this is really manly too. Sure someone had to take that kid to the water park. What a great story with a punchline and a climax, better than I could do most times. You have a way with words in a straight American style way of getting across to your audience quickly with only such words as are essential to the meat or pith of the story line, what a day in the life of your life, it gives us a sense of what your life is like or has been like.

If I write like this something similar it will show me that my life has not been all for naught or wasted.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for stopping by Laura.

[The Twin Arenas]

f**k.

before I read this, I almost "submit review" about how f*****g stoked I was when I saw that you had written something, and that it was going to be this. looked like this.

so good, man. to live s**t, and put it into words, and have it not suck, that's honest successful poetry.

you should check out the record Benji by Sun Kil Moon.

when you're stuff hits, it's playing the same venues

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks Waconda. I appreciate it

[icelandicblue]

I have seen little boys take a bite out of the corner of a brownie and made it a hand gun. I can see why you might have gotten in trouble...flame throwers aren't on a mother's top ten things for sons to do. He'll be lighting his farts soon enough with his friends and then they'll forget all about you and what you taught him. LOL...I'm am sure that kid now worships you. He won't forget you either.

[Baby Ricochet]

I was forgiven for my transgression and took him to Bush Gardens a few months later. I didn't teach him anymore improvised weaponry though. I got reamed enough the first time. Thanks Blue