stuck

Where I've been lately

I'm stuck here again 

Memories I can't control 

The meds don't help

I'm tired of therapy 

What was expected of us 

They never told us 

How to live with it 

When your inner child

is horrified 

By what you did 

What do you tell him 

When It's not okay

It's what it feels like 

A terrified child 

who will never be

okay

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

When your inner child
is horrified
By what you did
What do you tell him
When It's not okay
It's what it feels like
A terrified child
who will never be
okay

War is as old as human existence that doesn't make it any less painful. Literally million of men and some women have been where you are. If you can forgive all those who came before you, you must forgive yourself. You didn't know any better. Hold that inner child dear and soothe him. You carrying around the guilt only adds to the pain of war. Feel better, friend.

[MomzillaNC]

Wow… "When your inner child is horrified… " That really ties this for me to my poem's lines, "The eyes take in what the hands have done; The soul forever sees the black victory won."

What can anyone teach a person living with such horror about living with it?

[Baby Ricochet]

Solidarity with what's left of my buddies from my old platoon is about it. We're the only one's who know what's nawing at us.

[MomzillaNC]

I think it's too much to expect you guys to "heal." I think the only thing we can hope for is that you learn to live… to live beyond the pain.

[Harmony-Lee]

Great piece.
Honest and true, you're open, out there, not hiding anything, admitting your weakness, it's the beginning of knowing what has happened trying to move forward. Not forgetting, but acknowledging and accepting you didn't really have a choice?

[Eric Pudalov]

This is one of the best poems of yours that I've read, Rico...I find it so difficult to fathom. But your words are incredibly powerful - I hope that many other veterans who come across your poems are able to relate!

Although I *am* able to relate to some words here in particular, in the first verse:

I'm stuck here again
Memories I can't control
The meds don't help
I'm tired of therapy

Having had a traumatic brain injury, I feel strongly about these lines in particular, because, like some veterans (many of whom have similar injuries), although you may be "cured" of the injury itself, you still have to live with the consequences.

But as Pryde said below, although it may be difficult, I too would encourage you to forgive yourself for your actions. I imagine it's not an easy thing to do at all, however...it just seems as though you had little choice in the matter.

Beautiful work, my friend!!

[willweb]

This was sad and terrifying. I can only imagine what it must have been like. Very good poetry.

[Rosalind Gale]

Good poem, friend. Keep on truckin'.
-x-

[unsavable_soul]

Powerful truths,
Not much I can say of this piece other than it is real and powerful. thanks for laying your demons out there for us to see, it must be hard. I hope your soul finds some calm.
Chris

[Art Sun]

the nightmares of one are but a few when you add all the nightmares of many...somehow it just doesn't seem fair...nice work BR....

[Draven]

This piece is not that many lines when compared to the volumes it speaks.

[Great Aunt Astri]

I agree with Pryde; comfort and take care of your inner child. In war all sorts of things happen, it is very horrible, but people get sucked into it. I think the first thing to do is to forgive yourself. Your poem, in its simplicity is very evocative.