Five Finger Discount Sweetheart

Based on one of my X's habit of not paying for stuff she "bought."

My girl's a kleptomaniac 

That much is just a fact

You better keep an eye on her

around that sun glass rack 

Five finger discount sweetheart 

Shop keeper's biggest fear

What happened to that Rolex watch 

I swear it was right here 

Such a thieving little liar

You'd think I'd feel disgrace

Let her loose in Wal Mart and

she's out with half the place

She could nick a television 

and walk right out the door 

The queen of shoplift plundering 

My sweet thieving amour 

Cosmetics are her specialty 

They slip into her packs

Once she's down the beauty isle

She empties all the racks

She's a menace to retailers

A double D crime spree

Casing all the shopping malls 

A shoplift industry

The last time she got busted

She put on such a show 

The cops were all so smitten 

They just let her go 

Wiggly giggly big eyed girly

With teasing lips and hips

Conniving little con artist

She'd swipe a battleship 

Some wonder how it ever works

and how our love makes sense 

My girl's a kleptomaniac 

and I'm her private fence 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"and i am her fence"

god, you are clever BR...i always get such enjoyment from your innovative poems...always a message, always humor.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Jacob

[Lyn Anderson]

I love this. It is very funny, and really well written, with a great rhyming scheme.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you KL

[Chris Micha]

OMG I love this!! You are truly a master of creativity, sir. Funny and entertaining in everyway!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Christian

[icelandicblue]

That is a fabulous poem and story. I loved every stolen moment.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you blue

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Well you never hold back! An excellent observational piece that really shows the domain of he fast handed!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Thomas