Five Finger Discount Sweetheart

Based on one of my X's habit of not paying for stuff she "bought."

My girl's a kleptomaniac 

That much is just a fact

You better keep an eye on her

around that sun glass rack 

Five finger discount sweetheart 

Shop keeper's biggest fear

What happened to that Rolex watch 

I swear it was right here 

Such a thieving little liar

You'd think I'd feel disgrace

Let her loose in Wal Mart and

she's out with half the place

She could nick a television 

and walk right out the door 

The queen of shoplift plundering 

My sweet thieving amour 

Cosmetics are her specialty 

They slip into her packs

Once she's down the beauty isle

She empties all the racks

She's a menace to retailers

A double D crime spree

Casing all the shopping malls 

A shoplift industry

The last time she got busted

She put on such a show 

The cops were all so smitten 

They just let her go 

Wiggly giggly big eyed girly

With teasing lips and hips

Conniving little con artist

She'd swipe a battleship 

Some wonder how it ever works

and how our love makes sense 

My girl's a kleptomaniac 

and I'm her private fence 

Reviews

[Draven]

I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I always like ur rhymes.

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I love poems like this. Funny and based on life. I'm too old to be influenced by a pretty girl. Between stealing and doing the right thing I guess your lady sits on the fence. Clive.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for stopping by Clive

[Tate Morgan]

Oh thats great double D huh theres the saving grace .Well Ok I dont see anything wrong with Her I doubt any man would .She could steel anything she wanted id let her go too

[Baby Ricochet]

She could hide a lot of stolen merchandise in cleavage like that

[Tate Morgan]

I would never notice lol

[Annabelle Lee]

LOL Fantastic, Ricochet !

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you annabelle

[Inda]

Fantastic stuff, raw and real and funny too.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you inda

[Rita L. Sev]

You can't change a person's bad habits, Mark, but you sure can write one helluva poem about their quirks! Great rhyming slice of this side of life!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you rita

[Sami Khalil]

If Jack is the king of romance, you are the king of reality and humor. Excellent...:).......

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you sami

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................

[Tai Ryens]

Ahaha, hilarious! This is a Baby classic, you should let her loose on the government and see how much of our money she can get back

[Baby Ricochet]

She can rob an illegal super PAC and we can move to mexico. That's what I'm thinking

[TL Boehm]

This one made me chuckle. Well penned

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you TL

[Marie]

Well, I'd say you're pretty lucky.

[Baby Ricochet]

that's for sure