I Ate My Baby's Cheesecake

My oatmeal tastes like Elmer's paste

like paper glue to shelf  

I eat one more egg white omelet 

I'm gonna kill myself 

Chicken turkey and vegetables 

Brown rice oatmeal fish 

My sense of taste is suicidal 

They crave another dish 

My fantasies are pastries 

My dreams are pumpkin pies 

I wanna lick a Snickers bar

and get a sugar high 

I wanna swim in all beef stew 

Go Diving for a steak 

I'll use a Slim Jim for a snorkel

Have Sex with Chocolate cake 

Bury me in ice cream sundaes

Stick up a candy store

Since I freebased Orange Skittles

Now I'm a sugar w***e 

I know there's cheesecake in that fridge 

I hear it call my name 

Dreamy creamy tasty cheesy

It's driving me insane 

I said I ate it by accident 

You flash your angry pout

I didn't see your name on it 

The Little light was out 

I confess I ate your cheesecake 

We're living in disgrace 

All this time you thought I loved you 

While I just stuffed my face 

Author's Note

Hmmmmm. Cheesecake

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Ha ha ha ha i just can't stop my laugh...... We need more like this one to feel alive and smile. My friend you made me fan of your's and now all I'm thinking is having sex with chocalate cake:::::::::) f..king brilliant man just loved it, you made my day as I was killing my mind on writing something very dark and now my mood is simply invigorated... Thank you

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Amos

[s y e]

Hahaha, made me laugh Baby! I love this one.

I don't like cheesecake though xD

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you noodle

[Tai Ryens]

They should make commercials for cheesecake that are alike to the Klondike bar commercials, seeing as how you put your life on the line for the confounded cake. Absolutely worth the risk.

[Baby Ricochet]

That's for sure. Thank you Tai

[Rita L. Sev]

Life is too short not to indulge! Love this one, Mark - I'm going to be laughing about this all night (as I devour my current weakness - brownie in a mug...) :)

[Baby Ricochet]

That sounds really good. Thank you Rita

[Marie]

If you ate my cheesecake I'd pout too. Don't be such a glutton. (I personally would kill for a bananna split right now...)

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Thank you Marie

[Xx_Mizfit_xX]

LMAO This is wonderful...... "i wanna lick a snickers bar and get a sugar high" favorite line!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Mizfit

[KAOlmsted]

HA! Seriously?? This is so f*****g funny. I hate cheesecake, p.s. (I know, right?) but every time I'm on a "diet" I would happily devour one. I better hit the treadmill twice as hard today...just thinking about it put some junk in my trunk xD

by the way, did you get bad weather last week? We got SNOW dude...f*****g snow...

[Baby Ricochet]

Just cold, no snow. It's great to see you reviewing my work again Kimmer. Thank you

[KAOlmsted]

...like I could ever stay away ;-) My pleasure, Mark.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahahaha That covers it I think.Very funny :)

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you vidya

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[N!LoC]

oh....... i just ate 3 slices of cheesecake yesterday...... how ironic ... lol

[Baby Ricochet]

Hmmmmm. Cheesecake

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Fabulous, weight watchers should buy this piece and have it displayed at every meeting! well done, good read.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Thomas

[Inda]

Can relate to this a lot since i am currently trying to shed some weight myself. Good stuff!

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you Inda