Over the crimson sky

Find love in myself
maybe then I'll find healing
But I'm terrified
For what I might find
For the killer inside me
Who needs to be healed
For what he has done
So he could survive
For just one more day
To see the sunrise
Over the crimson sky

Author's Note

Capchya "shambles" This place is fucking with me

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

For the killer inside me
Who needs to be healed
For what he has done
So he could survive

You were young, baby, and you were manipulated. We all are when we are told that war is the way. (With a few exceptions, there is almost always another way.) We do not blame the child soldier, but magically at 18, we call one an adult. Research shows that the brain is not fully-developed for moral-reasoning until the age of 21, and then the average person will take four or so years to get that new-development up and functioning. You acted within international law … the way of the world … now you use your pen to try to change that 'way of the world'. There is forgiveness for you, Baby. I truly believe that, but it does start with you. Really, it's there.

[icelandicblue]

Pryde,

Your response is so supportive and understanding. I am awed by your insight.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, IcyBlue. I don't what to say to that. I am humbled.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you pryde. I appreciate it

[Lydia Shutter]

You were a soldier...you did what you believed to be your patriotic duty. It is not easy to look within oneself and see what the soul contains, but it is sometimes even more difficult not to. Although you did nothing to be ashamed about, you feel you did. Perhaps forgiving yourself is the first step to healing. You came home from the war....that is what counts. This introspective write touched me. Lydi**

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Lydi. I appreciate it

[Angi]

Baby, this is such an open and honest poem. Writing something like this shows what kind of man you really are. I have so much respect for our soldiers. You did what you had to do. This is beautiful. Angi~

PS, that captcha screws with everyone. I swear.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Angi. Don't forget the Nam vets. We owe them an apology

[Angi]

I agree with you there. 100%.

[Samuel Dickens]

A departure from much of your writing. It's good to see this side of you. In reading below, I want to say that the way your era of fighting man (and woman) is treated is, I believe, a bit of a backlash from how mine was treated. Many felt bad about how the Vietnam sailors, soldiers and airmen were treated, and so are trying to make up for it. Nowadays, a lowly enlisted person's return from war will often be featured on the local news. Never, never, never did that happen in the late sixties or early seventies. We came home to no fanfare at all, and maybe, just maybe, our wives would be there for us. And think about this--there was a draft back then, so if you had no deferment like Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh, the chances of your going were high. In other words, you almost had to serve, and when you came home, some (certainly not all) would call you "baby-killer". Thank you for writing this.

[Baby Ricochet]

You're right my friend. Some of it was "Nam guilt" some of it was the success of the "support the troops" campaign in the press, some of it was the way the occupation was censored in the US press (like downplaying the sheer number of civilian casualties and treating the Abu Ghraib prison scandal as an isolated incident) and part of it is just being in a different time with a different public mind set. Thank you for your service Sam and thank you to all the Vietnam vets who fought, bled and died because they thought that's what they were supposed to do.

[Sue Hart]

I was on Okinawa during Viet Nam and this is a reflection of the soldiers there. I often heard their anger, frustrations, and disgust at those in power pushing the buttons for greed. They often would hold up money and burn it as a form of protest for they understood what was behind such atrocities.
They came home to boos and hisses while drafted into that war. They fought because they had no choices as they saw their brothers die. It was the most heartbreaking experience of my life.
I want to say, go, forgive yourself for the blame is not yours. You did not choose this war with insight. You were blindfolded and drug into something you knew nothing about...until now. This will sound strange perhaps, but look around you. Re read these reviews. Look and see all who love and forgive you and mostly don't hold you to blame. Scream out your anger and then understand that tomorrow lies a new day that will lift you up and take you by the hand if only you will reach out and accept.

[Baby Ricochet]

The treatment of the Nam vets was a travesty. America owes them a huge apology. At least my generation of warrior got the respect we deserved from the public, even if the public doesn't really understand. I don't know how anyone could unless they were there.

[Sue Hart]

We lost a lot of good men and over what? I don't want to get started again, but you can't imagine what it was like. The Kong fought with curved swords, boobie traps they made from bamboo, deep spiked pits, and other home-made forms that a horror movie would love to show. Hand to hand combat using knives wasn't uncommon. I know that the soldiers today deal with human bombs and the like, and it is equally as horrible. But I lost a friend that had his head cut off during a hand to hand and it sort of lives with you forever.

[Ruth]

Damn....this is harsh and all I can or will say is, no-one can tell you how to heal love, no-one. Your first step is forgiveness of the self. That is a hard task in itself, but you can do so, I do like Pryde's review also. Be kind to yourself hon x

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Ruth

[Draven]

I am a great fighter, but I am no soldier.
I hear that a soldier is only troubled by what he has done if he is ashamed. I haven't fought in any wars, but I know that the saying is true. But no one can change their past. They can only live a life that is for the betterment of others, and in that, maybe we can find redemption.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you casanova

[Jack...]

My friend this was beautiful and haunting. I love how you delivered this wonderful piece. Bravo BR.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Jack

[Inda]

Great little piece, different from your regular stuff and thus shows how versatile you are my friend!

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you inda

[Rita L. Sev]

Your humanity shows in every word here, Mark - amazing, real, honest poetry.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Rita

[Daffy]

"When needs must", is the phrase that comes to mind. At time the sort of action suggested in this poem, may be necessary, but then, later, dwelling on the action after the event and taking it out of context can be harmful. You must be a very sensitive and kind person to think like you are. Put it this way, who could write poetry as you do and be bad? No healing is needed, Baby, your poetry shows that clearly. Daffy

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you daffy