Black Friday (Oh No Not Again)

Tis the season to riot at the mall

She's gonna drag me to the mall
Time for Christmas shopping
I'll piss and moan and b***h and groan
There's no hope of stopping

She'll drag me into chick stores
She'll march me up and down
She'll make me carry packages
That weigh five hundred pounds

She'll use me like a bulldozer
To plow over the crowds
She'll never let me stop for food
No slacking is allowed

She'll spend ungodly hours
Shopping for navel rings
Look baby do you like this one
Yes please buy anything

She'll ask me about chick clothing
I have no bloody clue
I like it tight with lots of skin
For grandma that won't do

She'll buy about a thousand gifts
and run me through the floor
It's her joy we go together
that's what I do it for

She's my girl and I do love her
so yes I'll be her mule
It's worth it just to see her smile
for I'm her love sick fool

Author's Note

Black Friday, Ugghhhh

Reviews

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

agreed! I work retail and have to work Thanksgiving thus missing dinner. Not enthused

[Baby Ricochet]

I'll eat extra for you. Thanks for stopping by cher. I appreciate it

[Lydia Shutter]

Absolutely adorable write. Be careful out there on Friday...actually, you can begin tomorrow night at 8 PM in most stores around my area. I guess it must be like that all over this year. All in the name of saving money....and love! :) Great rhyming. Lydi**

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Lydia

[Angi]

I work in retail, so I am in the thick of this craziness. I hate that the holidays are a dreaded time of year for me! This poem had me laughing. Make sure you wear an outfit that matches her purse. You will be holding it! Ha! Angi~

[Baby Ricochet]

See I never would have thought of that. Thanks Angi

[Cody Williams]

The title got me! I hate Black Friday! Thanks for sharing it!

-CW

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Cody

[Cody Williams]

It's no problem at all!

[Rene Velez]

good insight Ric. yeah I'm in and out like a mouse. nice one.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Rene

[Marie]

I would go out on Black Friday even if I was paid. (Unless it was to a book-signing of my own nove...)

[Baby Ricochet]

That would do. Thank you Marie

[Tate Morgan]

hahhaha thats so true . A man goes to the store already knowing what he wants and fixated on that effort he gets what he want s and leaves. A woman goes not knowing what there is to want so they start at one end and go through the entire mall till they have seen it all. I drop my wife at one end Drive to the other a few hrs later to pick her up. Oddly i get sick the same day every year that the day she decides to go shopping lol

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you Tate

[Baby Ricochet]

Men don't shop. We go, buy the thing and leave

[Tate Morgan]

Exactly that because we know what we want and dont need anything else lol

[Baby Ricochet]

that's it......

[Mark]

God damn you really do love her don't you?

[Baby Ricochet]

For sure. Thanks Mark

[Mark]

You bet. I can omly hope to be lucky enough to meet a woman I'd brave the malls on Black Friday for!

[icelandicblue]

And that's what it's all about. Great poem and you capture the trance that takes over many of us when we are in the zone. Loved your last stanza:

She's my girl and I do love her
so yes I'll be her mule
It's worth it just to see her smile
for I'm her love sick fool

You're a good guy baby!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Blue

[Pryde Foltz]

She's my girl and I do love her
so yes I'll be her mule
It's worth it just to see her smile
for I'm her love sick fool

Ahhh… it's a pleasure to see the big man vulnerable. Heads up…stanza 4 may have a typo.

[Baby Ricochet]

Look it. Maybe if I make it one word or change the sentence. Look at is gonna be awkward there. I'll work on it. Thank you Pryde

[Pryde Foltz]

How bout. Look Baby do you like this one. Keeps the syllable count.

[Baby Ricochet]

Good idea. I'll change it.