Black Friday (Oh No Not Again)

Tis the season to riot at the mall

She's gonna drag me to the mall
Time for Christmas shopping
I'll piss and moan and b***h and groan
There's no hope of stopping

She'll drag me into chick stores
She'll march me up and down
She'll make me carry packages
That weigh five hundred pounds

She'll use me like a bulldozer
To plow over the crowds
She'll never let me stop for food
No slacking is allowed

She'll spend ungodly hours
Shopping for navel rings
Look baby do you like this one
Yes please buy anything

She'll ask me about chick clothing
I have no bloody clue
I like it tight with lots of skin
For grandma that won't do

She'll buy about a thousand gifts
and run me through the floor
It's her joy we go together
that's what I do it for

She's my girl and I do love her
so yes I'll be her mule
It's worth it just to see her smile
for I'm her love sick fool

Author's Note

Black Friday, Ugghhhh

Reviews

[AYVID N]

A very good write Baby! The feeling is very appreciated. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you bdivya

[Nebunova]

I've decided after last year to just completely give up on Black Friday. I'll still to cyber Monday where there is no chance of me getting run over by anyone :)
perfect depiction of this horrid day .

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Nebunova

[s y e]

Argh, Black Friday..... Dontcha just hate that day?

[Baby Ricochet]

For sure. Thank you Noodle

[LovingJoy]

Hi there, nice take on shopping trips, have to point out a subject dear to many men's hearts:
"She'll ask me about chick clothing
I have no bloody clue
I like it tight with lots of skin
For grandma that won't do"
...lovely work.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you loving joy

[David Lewis Paget]

I will do anything, and I mean anything, to avoid shopping with a female... Any female, wife, cousin, friend, for that's when we really appreciate the difference between men and women. Men head for the counter and buy the thing they're after, then take off. No sideways glances at other beguiling goods, we can't wait to get out into the street again. Women... they have to look at everything. Not just look, touch, feel, hold it up to the light, ask everyone's opinion, question the price, try it on, then put it back down again and go on to the next thing. It's the wrong colour, the neck isn't right, Jane wouldn't like it, maybe the store up the street has a cheaper one, and this goes on for hours!
The reason there are not more axe murders in Department stores is that men usually find an excuse not to go, otherwise the floors would be covered in blood!

[Baby Ricochet]

Lmao!! Mr Paget this is the best review ever. Thanks for stopping by.

[Time's The Bond]

Aww that's so sweet that you'd go through all that trouble and be a mule. I'm not mocking you I mean it it's sweet.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it

[Baby Ricochet]

Haha, this made me laugh, you always put some great humor in it, I saw a little fragment of this black friday in the European news, and laughed, I thought, OMG is it really so bad? are people crazy??? haha...

Well written, with a huge wink and oh my, I'm just a dude when it comes to shopping too ;) so I feel ya.
for me it can't be fast enough, "in and out" haha, or online shopping ;) Great write Baby! xo

- Elisa

[Baby Ricochet]

lol! THanks for stopping by Elisa. It's great to here from you

Haha, anytime my friend... the feeling is mutual :) this was an awesome one!!

[Joyce S. Greene]

Nice to see the soft side of you shining through, BR. Great poem!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Joyce

[poetdoug]

Took the words right out of my mouth---only you say it all much more colorfully my friend.
Happy Cyber Monday!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Doug

[Tai Ryens]

Well spoken, there needs to be another version for the teenagers that have to go out and help their mothers as well! aha!

[Baby Ricochet]

You have to write that one. Thanks for stopping by Tai