If Ricochet Was Gay

If Ricochet Was Gay

A Poem by Baby Ricochet
"

What?

"

Would my life be any easier
if I had turned out gay
Testosterone shoots out my pours
I think they play that way
I'd stop dressing like a four year old
and I would have to shave
Would the world come to an end
If Ricochet was gay

I'd be my girlfriend's best buddy
but she'd be out of luck
I'd never touch her special place
and she would think that sucked
She'd miss the way I play with her
I come on like a truck
I'd bake a plate of bran muffins
and she would be dumbstruck

I could set new fashion trends and
get on Project Runway
Be kissing Heidi's skanky a*s
It's her show all the way
I'd stop eyeballing emo chicks
I view them as my prey
Would it be a security risk
If Ricochet was gay

I'm a regular macho dude
so I would be a bear
But I'm into bodybuilding
I shave my body hair
What does a bear do anyway
S**t in the woods and stare
I think the gay ones hang around
in leather underwear

So what the hell would life be like
if I had turned out gay
I guess I'm never gonna know
cause I don't swing that way
To all the gay dudes in the world
You guys are all okay
The world is a much brighter place
Because we have the gays


© 2013 Baby Ricochet


Author's Note

Baby Ricochet
Seriously. Think about how much fashion would suck if not for the gays. I'm terminally straight and if I tried to cut cloth with a pair of scissors I'd probably stab myself in the eye.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

OMG! All I can do is picture your muscle-y a*s in a pink tutu! Ha! This has me rolling, baby. Angi~

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

LOL! That would be some site. Thank you Angi
damn you are as funny as Louis CK ROFL!!! ever see one of his gay rants? This one is pretty good... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnD5hWdc4Yc

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

I've seen him before and yes he is funny. Thanks for the link Mark. I appreciate it
And you wouldn't have done other stuff too!!! Giiiiiiiiiiiiirl!!! Dude..Whatever! That would have been so much different! Interesting, but then who would fill one of the macho spots on WC? Like yeah we have dudes, but who's that particular marine dude that's wicked and is as macho as he is? :D ba-barara! Ricochet. Oontz :3

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

LOL! Thank you Jamie. I appreciate it.
I guess us gals aren't getting any credit for our fashion expertise....just think how different your poetry would be if you were gay Baby, going back to being a Marine.....a whole different perspective.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Women have a lot of fashion expertise, but the poem's a satirical piece about me being gay. (I know .. read more
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Can't pull the wool over your straight arse, can I? ;-)
Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

lol...............
If Baby R. turned out to be gay I wonder how many females would shave their heads and go on a week long fast...?

I'm glad, macho as you are, that you have no problem with gays...

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Considering the contributions gays have made to art, literature, fashion and culture homophobia's .. read more
Wow, what photos you found to carry out your lines.
Well done my friend

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Thank you Doug
terminally straight. Can I borrow that phrase? This was hilarious

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Sure. Thanks TL
Funny for some but with sense all throughout the lines.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

thank you Fernando
A funny piece and loved the photo too...Enjoyed the theme...Rose

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Thank you Rose
Now this was a happy little poem. Made me feel all prissy and sweet. Funny my friend.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Thank you Jack

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1614 Views
39 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 29, 2013
Last Updated on October 29, 2013

Author

Baby Ricochet
Baby Ricochet

Tampa, FL



About
I write just for the hell of it A way to spend some time Blurting out in cyber space Whatever's on my mind Maybe funny maybe tragic Emotional and raw Politi.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..