If Ricochet Was Gay

Would my life be any easier
if I had turned out gay
Testosterone shoots out my pours
I think they play that way
I'd stop dressing like a four year old
and I would have to shave
Would the world come to an end
If Ricochet was gay

I'd be my girlfriend's best buddy
but she'd be out of luck
I'd never touch her special place
and she would think that sucked
She'd miss the way I play with her
I come on like a truck
I'd bake a plate of bran muffins
and she would be dumbstruck

I could set new fashion trends and
get on Project Runway
Be kissing Heidi's skanky a*s
It's her show all the way
I'd stop eyeballing emo chicks
I view them as my prey
Would it be a security risk
If Ricochet was gay

I'm a regular macho dude
so I would be a bear
But I'm into bodybuilding
I shave my body hair
What does a bear do anyway
S**t in the woods and stare
I think the gay ones hang around
in leather underwear

So what the hell would life be like
if I had turned out gay
I guess I'm never gonna know
cause I don't swing that way
To all the gay dudes in the world
You guys are all okay
The world is a much brighter place
Because we have the gays

Author's Note

Seriously. Think about how much fashion would suck if not for the gays. I'm terminally straight and if I tried to cut cloth with a pair of scissors I'd probably stab myself in the eye.

Reviews

[ANTO]

What does a bear do anyway
S**t in the woods and stare - a lively and witty thought train BR.

If BR were gay
I'd go all the way
so there i will stop
Lest I go
'Over the top'

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL. Thanks Anto

[Eddie Phillips]

LOL OMG! I have not been able to read much over the last few months due to duty but man I needed this laugh. You had me cracking up the whole way through. Thanks for this one bro!

[Baby Ricochet]

lol! thank you Eddie

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I adore your take on what being gay is about, I do agree with one statement, you are terminally straight - have you ever heard of the Wilde quote, "Do not criticize what you can't understand".

[Baby Ricochet]

Lol! I've not read that one by Wilde. He was great with the one liners though. Morrissey is a huge fan of Wilde and he's quick with the flip remarks too. Morrissey is a brilliant writer

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

As are you my darling x

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Always witty, always hilarious, always excellent. If Ricochet was gay, he'd still be like that. ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you blue

[Angel]

I think you'd look very sweet in that blonde wig...
But I'll bet you couldn't walk in those shoes!!

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Probably not. Thanks for stopping by Angel. I appreciate it

[Angel]

Are you kidding? With a title like that, and YOU as the author...I just had to check it out.
OH...and about the shoes? Don't worry, Luv...I couldn't walk in the damned things either...

[smurfett]

LOL...this really is funny stuff!! I don't care what anyone's sexual preference is. People are people and everyone should be treated as equals. You have a very sarcastic sense of humor....and I find it refreshing, funny as hell and I LIKE IT!!!

[Commanda Panda]

Where the hell do you find these pics? ROTFL

[Baby Ricochet]

oh they're just laying around. Thanks for stopping by CP

[Nia Hope]

Lol well I'm glad you're not gay, your writing would be a lot different :)

[Baby Ricochet]

lol! No doubt.............

[KAOlmsted]

HA!

Wait.

Picturing it...just a little...because...kimmer loves her gay boys...

HA!!!

I love you, kid...you just made my night ;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

KIMMER!!! Where have you been girl?

[Kenaz]

This is hilarious, such a unique way of looking at your life as it could be

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Kenaz