On Hallowenn (Not anymore ya don't)

Remember when Halloween was fun?

Halloween is round the corner
and I can't play my tricks
Like crashing into costume parties
and picking up drunk chicks

No hammered horny Tinkerbell
No banging drunk Snow White
No running off with Cinderella
into the hallowed night

No drinking games with crazy girls
No more shots and shooters
No more kinky Asian porn
On my old computer

No more passing out in alleys
from drugs that I partake
My brain cells need a funeral
My body's at the wake

No more cops and no more tasers
No midnight prowler ride
No more falling off of bridges
To wash up with the tide

Perchance it seems I'm getting old
The party I've outgrown
and I have a full time girlfriend
who keeps my a*s at home

She knows how much I love to play
On me she'll keep an eye
She'll be watching like the warden
so nothing can slip by

Our Halloween will be at home
I'll let my liver rest
and hand out candy to the kids
I think it's for the best

Author's Note

Halloween ain't just for kids baby. It's the only holiday that can go from good clean family fun to out and out debauchery in just a few hours. You're not getting that on Christmas.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

I cracked UP reading this. Back when I was an unwashed pagan - Halloween was my favorite holiday and while I was never much for parties I did dress up - I REVELED in it. But now? Its kind of the no no holiday on the Christian calendar so I pretty much let it pass by without a thought and I am not allowed to dress up at the office. My kids are grown so....there is a part of me that misses it. SIgh.

[Baby Ricochet]

Halloween is a big, pagan finger to the Christians, that's for sure. Thank you TL

[TL Boehm]

Stop! You're making me spit my coffee! that's so funny!

[isus]

i totaly agree with icelandicblue :D

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you isis

[icelandicblue]

Best Adult Version Halloween poem I've read so far! Excellent poem.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you Blue

[Jack...]

BR, sure sounds like the candy has changed...very cool.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Jack