Rico's Feminine Side or Lack Thereof

Just having some fun with my hyper masculine persona

There's a line of thought in psycho pop new age hippy emo p***y bullshit circles that men need to get in touch with their feminine sides. In fact it wasn't all that long ago one of my dip s**t councilors suggested I do just that. My response to his suggestion was completely nonverbal and his reply was to clear his throat and say "Okay, we'll skip that idea for now." Why I was so hostile to his idea (and to a large degree still am) I'm not sure because the guy was probably right. The funny thing is I believe a fully developed psyche should be androgynous. That way one side of the psyche can check the other for excesses of estrogen fueled delirium and testosterone crazed mayhem before it ever gets started. Maybe that's why older men are less prone to doing the stupid s**t younger men just seem to have to do. (Besides the fact most older men have already done all the stupid s**t younger men do and know just when the cops are gonna show up) An older man may check with his feminine side and if she says it's idiotic he stays home and watches chicks hold hands and cry about puppies on the Oprah network or some s**t. Another thing that would seem to run counter to me being hostile to a feminine side is a lot of traditional guy stuff doesn't interest me at all. If someone asks me about sports my line is "The only thing I'd be interested in at a game is the cheer leaders." So please, whatever you do, don't drag me to a sports event that doesn't have girls in short skirts showing plenty of leg and midriff jumping around with pom poms. They're the only entertainment that could make a night at a game bearable to me. I can't go into strip clubs either cause I walk out broke every single time, even if I don't have my wallet. I don't know how the girls do it (yes I do) but it never bloody fails so please, don't make me go. I got bills to pay. Wait. What the f**k was I writing about? Oh yeah. The male feminine side and why I'm hostile to the idea even though I know I shouldn't be. Part of it's generational. I'm in my thirties and my generation of men typically don't think that way. Ask a typical thirty something straight guy about his feminine side and he'll probably look at you like you just took a dump on his birthday cake. The concept just ain't sinking in. Another factor is my service in the Marine Corps. The corps method of indoctrination is nothing short of brilliant and much of it stays with you FOREVER. I've been out since 08 (a decision I've never stopped regretting) but part of me is still a Marine and that will never change. What that means is there's always going to be a grunt in me looking to "GET SOME!" Whatever that may be at any given moment and trust me, nothing could be more archaic male than "GET SOME!" Another factor is I have two older brothers and no sisters so I was born in a "testosterone storm." What that means is women who crank out all boys those boys tend to be hyper masculine with the youngest being a regular neanderthal. Obviously this isn't always the case and I may have read about this "brute boy" study in a tabloid rag I found in a toilet at a bus station but all I know is my oldest brother joined the Army so I joined the Marines because I thought he was a candy a*s. Another factor is hormones, specifically testosterone and I have testosterone oozing out of my freaking pores. Much of that comes from my passion for bodybuilding. Lifting all that stupid heavy weight increases production of testosterone which as we all know increases masculine characteristics in both men and women. That's why female bodybuilders who use steroids lose their feminine features. They have to mix testosterone into their cycle so they start to look like men.
(Disclaimer: If a chick has bigger guns than mine I am NOT into her.) Last and definitely not the least of all factors as to why Baby Ricochet has an under developed feminine side is the idea annoys the f**k out of me. It assumes that because I'm a big, hyper masculine, Brock Sampson, no one talks about fight club kind of dude I'm "underdeveloped and that s**t just sticks in my craw. It's emo p***y bullshit and I know it is because I never heard of the concept until I was out of the Marine Corps and as far as I'm concerned the Corps taught me all I need to know about life which is probably why I've had so much trouble adjusting to the civilian world. I didn't fit into it very well when I was a teenager and I don't fit into it very well now. Their are people in my life who seem to think I'm from another bloody galaxy because I'm so male. To be fair they just think bodybuilding is weird and I'll admit it is a weird hobby.Even I can understand how much of a stretch it is for a lot of people to relate to a desire to look like a Clydesdale in a wife beater tee shirt that's so overwhelming you'll do anything to achieve that goal. It is a pretty extreme thing to do but what can I tells ya, it's my thing. 
No I don't think men are under attack in this country and I don't think women and gays are taking over and even if they were I wouldn't give a f**k. A female or gay president couldn't be any worse than some of the Schmucks we've elected to that god forsaken office. I'm telling you though, the next a*****e who tells me to get in touch with my feminine side, I'm gonna piss in his rice crispies.

Author's Note

The guy on the left is WWF superstar John Cena. (My girlfriend has a thing for him. She likes big boys.) The other guy is the British Comic Eddie izzard. Eddie's stand up routines are intelligent, insightful and hilarious. He's one of my faves, that's for sure.

Reviews

[Dye]

The way you poke fun at yourself is so refreshing.. No fluff and bullshit here, just straight up you. Funny but honest stuff my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Dye

[Mark]

Ya I am from a generation that grew up with aandrogynous pop stars and Alan Alda. It was confusing until I figurwd out I am who I am. That stuff about women liking guys who show emotion.... ya they do, they like guys like that but they don't f**k them. They are best friends lol

[Baby Ricochet]

A man's got a better chance of breaking out of Guantanamo bay than he does of getting off a chick's friends list. So this "friend's first" line is, for the most part a crock of s**t. "Friend's" is part of the "nice guy" syndrome. If you come across as nice and harmless that means you're a eunuch in her eyes so she'll cry to you about her a*****e boyfriends who's f*****g the living s**t out of her while you sit at home waiting for her to "come to her senses" and see what a great guy you are. A "nice guy" is never gonna tap that a*s, not ever because he doesn't turn her on. Read Robbie's poems. That's no nice guy she's writing about. She's writing about a lover who's part Satyr.

[Mark]

I have come to learn its not about being a jerk its about being a guy. Being a challenge, calling her bullshit, flirting and never being a suckup. You can be nice, just don't ever give her the idea you're a pushover who will always 'be there' when she 'needs you'

[Baby Ricochet]

That's it dead on.

[icelandicblue]

You are who you are, a product of genetics, environment experiences and choices. I am not really in touch with my "masculine" side so I get where a feminine side might elude you. Your brutal honesty and humor is always appreciated. The world isn't perfectly balanced unless you're looking at physics or chemistry. You are, however, a multi-faceted human being and if you are happy being who you are then no one has the right to say otherwise. I don't think there are lists written in stone regarding masculine and feminine personality characteristics, likes and dislikes. The more we learn the more the lines are blurred. I always enjoy reading what you have to say.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Blue

[Chris]

Chuckling here...

Somethings you just "get it" without a lot of soul-searching. You don't even have to stand there AFTER reading this one - you shook your head AS you read it.

[Baby Ricochet]

lol! Thank you Chris

[ANTO]

Many new readers of BR might be not know how to take him - others might want to take him out back and shoot him, but I have to say he's a stand up guy and very clever (more than he pretends). Why am I writing this - because I love him...so BR - how d'ya like them apples!

Brilliant craic BR - laughed my b**ls off here...

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Thank you ANTO. I feel the love

[ANTO]

lol - Hey BR , have you seen the YouTubes of Eddie Izzard's Death Star canteen routine - has to be the funniest thing I've ever heard

[Baby Ricochet]

I'm not sure if I've seen that one though I might have. I will have to check it out.

[Will]

You've had some damn fine rants, and this might be my new favorite. A great topic and legitimate, albeit disgruntled and a wee bit unorganized, points. Great job. I literally LOL'ed at this line:

"there's always going to be a grunt in me looking to 'GET SOME!"' I laughed because I yelled that at a friend of mine who is a marine and he immediately stood straight up and surveyed his surroundings. Good work my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Will

[Pryde Foltz]

Such ridiculousness that we are continually separating things into that which is feminine and that which masculine, other physical differences so much comes down to the individual. Thank you for writing this.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Pryde

[Plume de flamme]

Some very funny and witty lines in here. Thank you for sharing. I can tell you coming from my side (a woman) the reason that 'getting in touch with one's feminine side' gets some men down--not talking about you--is that the things are typically associated with women--in art, society, clothing, what have you--are seen as inferior. Those that are masculine, not so much.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Plume de flamme. Mostly I'm just poking fun at myself and our culture's habit of dividing things into male, female, this and that. As a writer for the most part I'm a satirist.

[Plume de flamme]

I hear you. It is a sticking point with me as well. Cannot we just be people first. Pen on, Ricochet.