Homer Baby

Don't ask

I don't what a Goddamn burger
Get me the chicken wrap
It's made of left over testicles
So that's what's in that crap

Just put some bloody bacon on it
I'd drink a bacon shake
It would give a whole new meaning
To a good old shake and bake

Southern frying up the kitchen
My cousin Christmas ham
Had a heart attack on cheetos
In his arterys they ram

I wanna eat a funnel cake
My secret greasy shame
Just put it in an IV bag
And stick it in my vein

Rolling in the sugar batter
And get my salads tossed
Rub some butter on my privates
And taste my secret sauce

The fat police had an APB
Rammed it through the courts
Strap him to a big a*s tread mill
Tax payers take the cost

I'm not paying for blubber crimes
That's a people's ripper
If I'm going to pay pork barrel
I wanna see some strippers

Author's Note

I have no clue where this came from. Just dicking around with my phone

Reviews

[Joyce S. Greene]

My pipe dreams are chocolate cake and fries, BR! Getting old is just no fun at all. This one hits me where I live and got me laughing and crying all at the same time. Great job!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Joyce

[Eddie Phillips]

inspiration comes at weird times.

[Baby Ricochet]

Yes it does. Thank you Eddie

[Claire Barsett]

If I had a family like this, big red neck family. I doubt I would have turned out to be a sociopath. Good reading~

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you claire

[ANTO]

Guilty secret = greasy secret = brilliance BR.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you ANTO

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
Rico you have a unique talent. You can rhyme words that are -similar- to each other. I can't even wrap my brain around stuff like that. If I rhyme it has to match exactly or I can't think it up at all.

While I think you're referring to Homer Simpson here (as this cuisine and -ahhm- interests sound like his fare), I suppose it could be anyone. :)

Once again an incredible poem having to do with the deadly sins. In this case, I think you have all 5 of them neatly pinned with this one.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you dw

[dw817]

UBetcha !

[Frieda P]

Ha it probably came from the fact that you haven't eaten anything other than white meat chicken and tuna for ages to keep your youthful physique! You need a pot roast! Do you dream of bacon? Very entertaining read.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you frieda

[Annabelle Lee]

Soft serve chocolate ice cream with gummy bears, skittles, m&m's and mike and ikes....... all in a twenty four ounce cup from the gas station. Ugh. seeing it all written there makes me feel like a lard-a*s!

[Baby Ricochet]

God that sounds so good

[icelandicblue]

Thanks for the laugh. This was really amusing. I'm a sucker for fish and chips and fried chicken myself. To hell with the fat police!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Blue

[Will]

Someone's been deep fat frying the hell out of everything below the mason Dixon line too long. Funny and witty, and it read very well.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Will

[Angi]

I am afraid your poor phone may be in need of therapy, baby. Methinks you were hungry for the bad stuff (the good stuff) when you wrote this one! Ha! Angi~

[Baby Ricochet]

I was hungry for something. That's for sure