I Wanna Be Top Writer

Inspired by the Writers cafe's secret society s**t storm. A not to bad of an idea that quickly went awry

Straight to the top of the poetry chart
That's a fair deal to me
I don't want to work or do anything
Just hand it all to me

I can't be bothered to send RR's
I'm too cool to review
I'm too brilliant to learn to write
Cause I'm better than you

I write free verse with my eyes closed
hammered on whiskey sours
Hemingway was drunk off his a*s
That's how I spend my hours

So when I wrote my masterpiece
It didn't make the top
It's all that other writer's fault
The one who has me blocked

When all I said was he sucked a*s
and couldn't write a list
Some constructive criticism
So now the a*****e's pissed

Can't you see my brilliant genius
I shouldn't have to work
I don't want to write my way up
Cause I'm a lazy jerk

I don't wanna play the WC game
The social network shtick
I don't want to write reviews for
A bunch of rubes and hicks

So gimmi gimmi gimmi that top spot
I want it right away
Screw you chumps who worked for it
Who cares about fair play

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

Ah-h-h-h, my dear BR. Who has decided to piss in your Rice Crispies, my friend? Whoever it was, you ought to bow, then extend a warm and hearty—"Hey, thank you!"—'cause this poem here, it's a keeper! They have certainly inspired you to write a scathing, wicked satirical poem, which makes many valid points, I might add. I will say one rather derogatory thing about WC...It certainly ain't the place for writers of stories to go, that's fer damn sure! Just look at the live feed, for example. Poem, poem, poem, poem, poem comment on poem, poem...ad infinitum. I prefer to write stories. That's why I'm rarely ever here anymore. No one wants to take the time, it seems, to read a story. I'm no poet, that's a given. But, I do know what I like, and this little gem is going in my personal library.

As I said earlier, it's a keeper!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Dean. Sadly that is true about stories and the WC. Poets are ADD cases.

[Emily B]

invite me to a story and i will read it

[Nusquam Esse]

How unfortunate that his profile was closed. I was actually curious what his stories would be about.

[Philip Muls]

Which site is good for stories ? Any tips ? Regards Philip

[Sally Dinn]

If fair play is easily bought - it's not a valuable game xxx

[Baby Ricochet]

fer sure

[Zahra]

This is a really clever write, nice humour. Well penned

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you voice

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree with you. A writer site had many reasons to exist. For us to learn and get better. For us to meet people with similar goals. Good to be number one with a amazing poem. But to be part of a working writer's site. Need to be reading and writing. Always good to read your logical view.
Coyote

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Coyote. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.

[Rob Santana]

Hahahahaha, nice.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Creeper.

[Mark]

LOL Glad to see you broke that writer's block. Great poem well put together

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Mark

[Annabelle Lee]

HA. that's exactly what I thought when I heard about the illuminati thingamajigger

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! Thanks Dog.

[ANTO]

"When all I said was he sucked a*s
and couldn't write a list
Some constructive criticism
So now the a*****e's pissed"

Frickn brilliant BR. You are atop of many of my lists lol ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you ANTO

[Marie]

As far as I'm concerned, the top spot is yours. Who among us can ever forget (probably because we can't) your masterpiece "Little Eve"...?

[Baby Ricochet]

ROTFLMAO!!!!! Little Eve!!!!! That's hysterical!!! Marie I love you..

[redflutterby]

First of all you should get top writer for this hysterical dose of sarcasm. Excellent write!! Second...I fully support the promotion and encouragement of new writers. Because hey, we've all been there. But what I don't support is anything no matter how "good" it looks on the surface, motivated in part by a grudge against one or a few writers on here. And I think that's what is causing the uproar about this. Concern that that is in fact the underlying intent.

I enjoyed this Mark... hopefully there won't be too many folks who get their panties in a bunch over it. lmao... ;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you red.

[Frieda P]

Get with the program, I'm Marie and Red is actually Baby...geez

[Baby Ricochet]

Oh is that how it goes? Okay, gotchya

[redflutterby]

Lmfao... don't know if its Tate but a certain someone recently said something similar. I'm sorry but anyone with a brain can tell Frieda's writing from mine. Sorry I'm not that good. How silly some people on here are!! Of course I've been the target of accusations from a few here. All I have to say is if I publish, review or comment anything on this site it stays on this site. I don't delete... so anyone who's curious about accusations may view my history here and find no substance to any rumors. Really some need to grow up. Also let me clarify that just because someones on my friends list doesn't mean I socialize or have any connection with them beyond reading and reviewing their work.

Sorry Mark... not trying to distract from your witty creation here.

[Frieda P]

Quintessential it is....

[Baby Ricochet]

That's okay Red. So who am I again?

[redflutterby]

Passing on the message? So am I to assume that you are one of the people I have blocked on here...or just speaking them for him or her?? See I block for a reason. And I view any attempt to continue contact with me after blocking a sign of obsessive behaviour. In other words it pisses me off...pass that message back along. Comprende? Oh yeah and I don't like accounts that I view as fake or malicious. They get blocked too... have a wonderful day...

[Frieda P]

I thought you were Corset Baby, we need to start wearing name tags, this is getting confusing...

[Frieda P]

Funny you don't want to scare people when your profile reads...

We Are Legion
We DO NOT Forgive
We DO NOT Forget
Expect Us

[redflutterby]

Seriously... hey baby and I have the same temper...omg maybe he's me!! Or I'm him... no really I'm Stephen King! Didn't you know that. I'm just bored and figured I come here to f**k with people.

Its going around... lol... must be a new disease. ;-)

[Frieda P]

I know the name of that disease too Red, or me, whatever

[Jack...]

Ok, lets put the truth out in the open. I am everyone on this site. There is nobody else. I am Frieda and Marie and Red and Baby and TL and Veronica, Archie, Betty and Jughead and everyone else. Whoever is top writer it is me...are you listening...damn I'm talking to myself again.

[Baby Ricochet]

How did I get to be Corset?

[Baby Ricochet]

She's gonna be Pissed

[redflutterby]

Uh huh... I'm sure I'm aware of the accusations. Let's see supposedly I'm one of the "mighty five" who is terrorizing a writer here. I lie and make people not review his work. I've turned a teenage girl against him. See the problem is its all BS and I really don't care what others say. ;-)

[Jack...]

See I just wrote that. That was me...How did I get to be Corsett? Check the handwriting...me.

[Frieda P]

I don't know, but I read it someplace around this joint....I think they're pumping in some kind of gas or something around here...

[Baby Ricochet]

Jack is lord and master of us all.

[Frieda P]

I thought you were Jimmy Fallon Jack!!

[Jack...]

yes i am...I mean yes we are...I mean yes you are...you are me. Pumping gas, wrote that too.

[Baby Ricochet]

Okay so who's "We are Legion" and why are they watching? Is they're gonna be nudity?

[Baby Ricochet]

Jack is everywhere

[Jack...]

Does anyone realize how hard it is to chnage accounts so damn fast...why am I asking you..you are me?

[Frieda P]

Ha you would ask that Mark....

[Jack...]

A legon is like a oozing skin sore isn't it?

[Frieda P]

Hahaha that's with an S like snake sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[Jack...]

See I wrote that too. making fun of myself

[redflutterby]

Omg..that's why I'm growing hair on my chest...I'm Jack!!! Arggh..

Seriously.. OK Legion you want to play with Red? Ha... I'll unblock you! Send me your info. But know this if you ratings slam my poems I'll make baby look like a Sunday school teacher. You've got one hour then you go back to blocked.

[Frieda P]

See I"m not Red, she's meaner then me lol ;-P

[Marie]

Actually, that makes me feel very secure...

[Jack...]

See I can be reasonable but hard lined.

[Jack...]

Man this is tough...in the words of John Lennon at the end of Helter Skelter, "I've got blisters on my fingers."

[Frieda P]

What does, the profile, you probably like being tied up too Marie....

[Jack...]

Oh, did I mention that I was Hugh Laurie too. Oh yeah, and Clive Owen.

[redflutterby]

Meaner then you Frieda.. ha!! Baby you know it!!

[Jack...]

Oh and the picture at the top of my poem, the pouting girl...me too!

[Baby Ricochet]

Now THAT'S funny Jack.

[Zahra]

Haha, You guys are cute.

[Frieda P]

You're sure are purdy

[Baby Ricochet]

"We are Legion" Withdrew. Huh. Wonder why they did that

[Frieda P]

Wow hit & run, same MO as someone else I know...

[Jack...]

You would say that because you are me.

[redflutterby]

Well looky here...legion has deleted his comments. Wow..just like some we all know. Pffftt....

[Baby Ricochet]

Who was that masked man he stole my key board

[Jack...]

He found out he had legionaires disease.

[Jack...]

Funny, whoever it was stepped into the heart of the asylum and then ran with his tail between his legs.

[Zahra]

Jack you never told me you're so many people.

[Frieda P]

Closed their account too, weird, that's doing around too...

[redflutterby]

F*****g some people....

Oh how concerned he was for me... seriously. I'm a redhead I will eat you alive...and not in a plea sent way!!! ;-D

[Jack...]

Yes Zahra, I am you too.

Red, will you like an appetizer with that?

[Zahra]

This site is hilarious :-P

[Baby Ricochet]

I'm eating an egg white and turkey pita right now

[Jack...]

That does it BR, If you are going to take that tone...forget it. :)

[Frieda P]

That's because we're actually all computerized monkeys....
....and geez Baby, I"m sending you that pot roast!

[Baby Ricochet]

ya gotta have a sense of humor. It's really hard to kill yourself when you're light heartedly laughing

[dw817]

(Late) Who deleted all the posts ? Is there a way to block people that write mean things on your pages ? I may need that later when I start posting more of my religion analogies and analyses.

[Frieda P]

So you don't think anyone ever died laughing?

[Baby Ricochet]

Someone named "We are legion" they didn't write anything mean. I guess they got tired of us or something.

[Jack...]

How could anyone get tired of this inspirational dialogue?

[Baby Ricochet]

I'm sure folks have. They've died of damn near everything else

[redflutterby]

He would be the appetizer!! Ha... I chew up idiots like that for fun. ;-)lol..

[Frieda P]

Just go to their profile page dw, and use the blocking function.....

[Baby Ricochet]

I know Jack.

[Jack...]

Can I be dessert? I haven't been chewed on in at least 2 days.

[TL Boehm]

So Wanting to be Top writer and wanting to be on top of a writer....that's two different things right? But if you are all one and you are legion and you're deleting yourself - can I get fries with that? (I am so cornfused) You guys are so funny. I didn't see we are legion - or was it just legion commenting.

[redflutterby]

Hey if it helps you get top writer then what the hell... sorry Mark. I'm like the devil chaos follows where ever I go. ;-)

[Jack...]

Hey Tammy, come on in...the waters fine. Red has cleaned it up nicely.

[dw817]

I don't know who they were ? And no link, but yah I wanna block 'em if they're rude and junk.

[TL Boehm]

DW I believe you can go to the offender's page and click the little minus button to block a person. I block trolls (those who send emails to hook up off site. those with no profiles - hate those people) Peace. Banter among friends is one thing and Rico is just a hilarious dude with a great tolerance for weirdos like me - but rudeness - nope. You don't have to put up with it.

[Jack...]

You mean you can send emails to hook up off site? Man this place gets better everyday.

[dw817]

I don't know who they were ? I have no URL link, maybe that's why they deleted so they could hide and no-one could block them ? :(

[Frieda P]

http://www.writerscafe.org/_Legion

'they already closed the account, will probably show up as someone else real soon.....

[redflutterby]

The accounts closed now so once it is you can't search it. Go to your live feedand see see if there's any sign of his comments there. But I really don't think you need to worry....this person has an agenda with me and a few others only.

[Jack...]

yeah it will be something like... B for Bandana We may be red and blue, but we are watching you.

[Frieda P]

LOL Jack....

[Jack...]

Hey if we are the gang ofl 5, then we are like a hand. Can I be the middle finger?

[Frieda P]

It's already on my tombstone....

[dw817]

Thanks, AMSargent. Wow, I was really hoping to leave the drama behind once Xanga closed. I had some really mean bullies after me while I was in there - and - well - anyways, water under the bridge and I'm just tossing in origami boats in from above so, let it ride. :)

[Jack...]

Thank you Frieda. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you would put me on your tombstone. (And I thought you wanted pepperoni)

[Frieda P]

Lmao, I hate pepperoni!

[Baby Ricochet]

I had to block a bunch of people during the jkhatz incident. When the smoke cleared and she and I worked things out I started to unblock each person as they popped up. I unblocked most of them though I'm sure there's still a few. I was hearing from all kinds of people I didn't know for those few days before I got in contact with her and the only thing to do was block.

[redflutterby]

Your welcome hun.... oh and Jack I am the middle finger on this hand. Ha... as for dessert.. ;-pp

[Frieda P]

Didn't this one make it to the top yet?!

[Jack...]

I never get to be the middle finger. :(

[Frieda P]

Are you whinging again?!

[Jack...]

No, I always sit in the corner with my head on my desk like this.

[redflutterby]

Don't make me spank you Jack!! Hahaha...

[Frieda P]

Don't mess with Red, she smarts!

[Jack...]

Oh good, it's working.

[Baby Ricochet]

At the moment I'm in the top writer slot and on the next shuffle of the pop reading list this poem will be #2 right under Writers Cafe's secret society. This is better than the time when my poem "When Poetry Sucks" made it to the number one spot. F*****g comic gold this is.

[Frieda P]

Yeah, thanks Baby ;-P

[redflutterby]

Hey I deserve a kiss for all the promotion by the way... ha!! Or at least some brownie points or something!!

[Frieda P]

He should buy us all dinner ;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

For RED and everyone that pushed this satire up the latter XXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOXXXXXXOOOOOOXXXXXOOOOOOXXXXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOX

[Jack...]

I love thanking myself.

[Frieda P]

I was thinking more a lobster dinner Baby!! '-P

[redflutterby]

In honor of baby on top I've rolled out a little Zeppelin.... Dazed and Confused.cause that's what he leaves the cafe with his wit!!

[Angel]

STOP CONFUSING ME!!!

[Frieda P]

Which part? :-)

[redflutterby]

Hahaha.... ;-)

[Baby Ricochet]

OMG I Love Led Zeppelin! Whole lotta love and when the Levi Breaks. Those are right up there with Mozart in my book. Gotta go, it's gym time and I'm gonna Blast Led Zeppelin in my ears tonight

[redflutterby]

Lol...enjoy that workout!! ;-)

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

This is the best thread ever!

[h d e rushin]

sorry (corset) you're amazing.,,

[Baby Ricochet]

You talkin to me or Corset?

[Baby Ricochet]

Jack is lord and master of us all

[Frieda P]

See I told you, you were Corset...

[h d e rushin]

I was talking to you sir but corset's always in my inner ear.....

[Baby Ricochet]

Oh okay, gotchya