I Wanna Be Top Writer

Inspired by the Writers cafe's secret society s**t storm. A not to bad of an idea that quickly went awry

Straight to the top of the poetry chart
That's a fair deal to me
I don't want to work or do anything
Just hand it all to me

I can't be bothered to send RR's
I'm too cool to review
I'm too brilliant to learn to write
Cause I'm better than you

I write free verse with my eyes closed
hammered on whiskey sours
Hemingway was drunk off his a*s
That's how I spend my hours

So when I wrote my masterpiece
It didn't make the top
It's all that other writer's fault
The one who has me blocked

When all I said was he sucked a*s
and couldn't write a list
Some constructive criticism
So now the a*****e's pissed

Can't you see my brilliant genius
I shouldn't have to work
I don't want to write my way up
Cause I'm a lazy jerk

I don't wanna play the WC game
The social network shtick
I don't want to write reviews for
A bunch of rubes and hicks

So gimmi gimmi gimmi that top spot
I want it right away
Screw you chumps who worked for it
Who cares about fair play

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

Ah-h-h-h, my dear BR. Who has decided to piss in your Rice Crispies, my friend? Whoever it was, you ought to bow, then extend a warm and hearty—"Hey, thank you!"—'cause this poem here, it's a keeper! They have certainly inspired you to write a scathing, wicked satirical poem, which makes many valid points, I might add. I will say one rather derogatory thing about WC...It certainly ain't the place for writers of stories to go, that's fer damn sure! Just look at the live feed, for example. Poem, poem, poem, poem, poem comment on poem, poem...ad infinitum. I prefer to write stories. That's why I'm rarely ever here anymore. No one wants to take the time, it seems, to read a story. I'm no poet, that's a given. But, I do know what I like, and this little gem is going in my personal library.

As I said earlier, it's a keeper!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Dean. Sadly that is true about stories and the WC. Poets are ADD cases.

[Emily B]

invite me to a story and i will read it

[Nusquam Esse]

How unfortunate that his profile was closed. I was actually curious what his stories would be about.

[Philip Muls]

Which site is good for stories ? Any tips ? Regards Philip

[Roopal]

Hahahah...LOL... This was very funny... I wish the same thing. :D Your funny poems are always so funny. :D

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Roopal. I appreciate it

[LJW]

I haven't had a drink in 20 years and my mother's yearly whiskey sour on New Year's Eve smelled like, we'll, sour whiskey.

Define work. No, never mind.

S**t storm? When/where? I never leave the storm cellar except to stock up on Devil Dogs and bottled water.

Peace.

[Baby Ricochet]

The players already took it down. Peace is a beautiful thing. Thanks for stopping by LJW

[LJW]

Players? I miss so much by not spending a lot of time on herd. Oh, and also the 753 hits of acid I dropped from '74 - '81.

I forgot to add that I don't review much. I have this thing with being brutally honest. If I don't like something, I say it. I don't carefully choose my words, just like I don't when I write my free verve completely sober. I don't play well with others in general. So I 've decided to not review much. That's me. I'm not lazy. I spent the day building a stone wall, cleaning my rifles, and assembling a a tricycle. I don't send read requests because I feel that's like having a Jehovah's Witness knock on the recipient 's door..sure, he may believe (write poetry) but he may believe in something else, like Jesus (and non-conventional creative writing), so I'm not trying to waste anybody's time. I've been on this site for years and the same few comment on my work, which is cool by me.

If I were to desire to write a bunch of reviews, who exactly are the rubes and hicks you speak of? Are they dispersed across the site or do they have their own group? Are there Top Rubes and Top Hicks?

Anyway, I forgot to say this stuff the 1st time I was here.

Hey, FYI: You look NOTHING like a baby.

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Do what you gotta do man.

[Androglossia]

Straightforward and brazen! Was a top writer and reviewer then and it didn't make me superhuman nor was I awarded a treasure box so :) But it honestly made me proud but once is enough. Give room for others otherwise make a site of your own. If you don't have resources, just imagine you own one. This is a hot lava BR! Liked.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Maryanne. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Ha ha! I see a stomping cantankerous writer, seemingly spoiled as hell! You are great at this style of parody, my friend... I wish I were YOU! ;D
You are too cool for WC, Mister Richocet! Loved this!~xoxo~ :D

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Robbie. Nice to see you

[Robbie~xoxo~]

good to see you too Baby! :)

[Sam Sin Sepultura]

this made me laugh XD I'm not always a huge fan of this rhyme scheme but it worked well here

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you sam. Glad it gave you a giggle

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

:) This was very well written. I agree with the sentiment, you must pay your dues to gain success in life and here as well. Read, review, learn and the reads will come. Nicely written with your signature blend of satire and wordplay.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you girl friday. I appreciate your input

[Keith]

Bloody Ball Tearer! Funny as hell.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you keith 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

[Cherrie]

A heavy dose of Satire served with cheese this morning. I like it. Sounds like an entire generation of young adults still living home with their parents. What happened to standing on your own two feet? What I lke about the image you created is she makes me mad :)and I can think of people your character is like.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you Cherrie 111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

[Commanda Panda]

Hardcore writers never die! We can't be pushed out either. We're like squatters that just don't give a f**k! Real poetry was built on the backbones of people with backbones. Not these p***y a*s blowhards who like to kiss each other's asses for higher ratings. I tell my real friends on the WC they suck, we have a fist fight, then we go get a beer and a couple of twitchy eyed w****s! F**k yeah! The American Dream.

[Baby Ricochet]

That's the spirit. 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

[Eric Wagner]

So prescient, the understanding you show in social media is insightful. Keep up the good work.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Eric. What's the f*****g deal with entering 25 characters? Not you Eric I just got a message I have to put 25 characters in this box. F*****g great, Now the WC is telling me how to respond to reviews