I Wanna Be Top Writer

Inspired by the Writers cafe's secret society s**t storm. A not to bad of an idea that quickly went awry

Straight to the top of the poetry chart
That's a fair deal to me
I don't want to work or do anything
Just hand it all to me

I can't be bothered to send RR's
I'm too cool to review
I'm too brilliant to learn to write
Cause I'm better than you

I write free verse with my eyes closed
hammered on whiskey sours
Hemingway was drunk off his a*s
That's how I spend my hours

So when I wrote my masterpiece
It didn't make the top
It's all that other writer's fault
The one who has me blocked

When all I said was he sucked a*s
and couldn't write a list
Some constructive criticism
So now the a*****e's pissed

Can't you see my brilliant genius
I shouldn't have to work
I don't want to write my way up
Cause I'm a lazy jerk

I don't wanna play the WC game
The social network shtick
I don't want to write reviews for
A bunch of rubes and hicks

So gimmi gimmi gimmi that top spot
I want it right away
Screw you chumps who worked for it
Who cares about fair play

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

Ah-h-h-h, my dear BR. Who has decided to piss in your Rice Crispies, my friend? Whoever it was, you ought to bow, then extend a warm and hearty—"Hey, thank you!"—'cause this poem here, it's a keeper! They have certainly inspired you to write a scathing, wicked satirical poem, which makes many valid points, I might add. I will say one rather derogatory thing about WC...It certainly ain't the place for writers of stories to go, that's fer damn sure! Just look at the live feed, for example. Poem, poem, poem, poem, poem comment on poem, poem...ad infinitum. I prefer to write stories. That's why I'm rarely ever here anymore. No one wants to take the time, it seems, to read a story. I'm no poet, that's a given. But, I do know what I like, and this little gem is going in my personal library.

As I said earlier, it's a keeper!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Dean. Sadly that is true about stories and the WC. Poets are ADD cases.

[Emily B]

invite me to a story and i will read it

[Nusquam Esse]

How unfortunate that his profile was closed. I was actually curious what his stories would be about.

[Philip Muls]

Which site is good for stories ? Any tips ? Regards Philip

[angel]

GOOD ON YER! a nice job...

[Einstein Noodle]

Tate shared the link to this poem ..very funny and quite biting .. Tate had shared the story behind this and it is just too sad ..it reminds me of the Mozart movie "Amadeus" and the very jealous counterpart Antonio Salieri ..nice rhyme and rhythm and happy to take with the well seasoned humor .. unfortunate state for all :(
E.

[barleygirl]

Best sarcasm EVER!!!!! I love this. Who can't relate, especially those of us who do the work? Normally, I don't like to waste my time addressing those with attitudes. I'd rather focus on the gems & try to be the change I want to see. But every once in awhile, we need the release of frustration that a well-penned diatribe like this can bring. Feels as good as taking a monumental morning dump! Thanks for taking the heat so we don't have to be the s****y ones (((HUGS)))

[Richard Patrick]

that was humorous. I enjoyed it too, the peom hits home, We all want to be, let the reader decide the truth about who is best. Take it easy on your self. believe you can be. just believe. Set your wings to fly into the sky.

[andrew mitchell]

funny as! great write lol lol

[Michael G.]

I still love reading your classics!

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL. Thanks Mr G

[Norman T]

Thanks for the laugh - this was a great eye opener for someone who became a pensioner 24 years ago and still trying to prove I'm top dog. Failure is now my only option - I can see that now, and I shall follow your advice.
Poetic justice and great stuff!!!

Norman

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for stopping by

[Michael Phillips]

Very funny and I like satire! You use it well here and garnered a few chuckles out of me.

[joshua deathdealer]

Lol YES!! Thank you writing this.. I had no idea of this game until recently. I genuinely thought this place was for sharing and critique. I always work on my own stuff and review my closer friends.. I had no idea there was an underside to it all... I mean what is there to gain from being the top writer? Is there a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow? lol

[Rachelle]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Are there people who are actually like that?

[Baby Ricochet]

A few. Thanks for stopping by