A physically abusive man getting drunk in a bar rationalizes and justifies his behavior. I'm not advocating domestic violence. You all know I like to write from the other side of the coin.
She always starts this s**t with me then says the fault is mine If she'd shut her Goddamn mouth everything would be just fine
I work my fingers to the bone though she's never grateful To hear that evil b***h nagging I'm the one who's hateful
She's got the kids against me now They just want to use me Dad's a great big piggy bank All they want is money
When they're to big for they're boots and show me disrespect When they back talk out of line They know what to expect
These kids today they get away with anything they want Sick little s***s and criminals and parents are at fault
You need to discipline your kids with methods unrefined You have to beat sense into them to keep your brood in line
Bar keep give me one more shot I have to drink alone Someone needs a lesson taught As soon as I get home
So don't stick your labels on me I'm not the one to blame What else am I supposed to do All they respect is pain
This isn't a social commentary on how to discipline kids. This is a guy sitting alone in a bar getting hammered justifying his behavior through. Anger, projection, denial, rationalization and justification and that's all this poem is.
My Review
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I like the way you do not justify this sort of person's behaviour nor mentality at all but express their character to a tee, it is a talent to breathe life into another person who you are not at all like when you write. Great serious piece.
I adore how you are not afraid of tackling some of the harder more taboo subjects, and the way you deliver with such power and passion. Your character how ever detestable has a clear message produced in a poetic and almost rythimcal sense.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you ama may. It's great to see you. You'vebeen a strang er far to long
11 Years Ago
Ah ive been around, the steady barrage of adulthood has left me much less time :) but i promise ill .. read moreAh ive been around, the steady barrage of adulthood has left me much less time :) but i promise ill be here forever even if sporadically :)
I was sat on a bus the other day when I saw a rough couple with a two year old girl sat across from me. The girl was being a bit whiney and the kids dad just turns round and says to the mum "she's been a right little b***h all day" an im thinking this kid poor kid who is still developing is gunna grow up being told she is a b***h before she even knows what one is. We are what our parents make us.
A unique and uninhibited write. It is the thought of the character that makes this poem work. His inner and outer dialogue pull us into his mind and the drama of his life. You did an outstanding job fleshing out this character. It doesn't have to be a social justification it just provides a intriguing story.
As much as I dislike this poem's contents, I do like they idea of you creating characters and writing them out in poem form. Most poetry is autobiographical, I like what you're doing to change that.
I like this how you speak the poem from the wrong-doer's point of view and show his idiocy in an even brighter way! Though, such poems are often taken negatively, but I liked the expression. And you are extremely good at doing this :)
My ex was an abusive s.o.b.but never needed alcohol to make him anger...it is good you see in others these qualities you are able to portray it into words...maybe someone can use your poem like a mirror and see themselves reflected in your poem....very good write.
I write just for the hell of it
A way to spend some time
Blurting out in cyber space
Whatever's on my mind
Maybe funny maybe tragic
Emotional and raw
Politi.. more..