Ice House of Broken Gears

     My body's bloated on the tide
           Rivers of bloody tears
  My lungs are choking on Chloride
       Ice house of broken gears

     Push my body to the marrow
         Expending all my years
     Living lies with no tomorrow
     Ice house of broken gears

   Broken down to a credit score
        What life means to me 
I'm nothing but a paycheck w***e
        This life is failing me

 Constructing damaged alternates
       Running on angry fears
    Frustration always incubates
    Ice house of broken gears

  Thrown to corrupted legal men
           A jury of my peers
    Prosecutors unleashed again
     Ice house of broken gears

   Dragged into a broken system
     designed to make me pay
     Turning me into a victim
    They took my pride away

  Always running the tilt a whirl
   Sick clowns with ugly leers
 Watching life sink down a swirl
   Ice house of broken gears

Reviews

[Lady Ra]

Great poem. There was a wonderful lecture by a woman named Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes - the lecture was called "The Boy Who Married an Eagle." In the lecture she speaks about how men are treated in this culture as if they do not feel, but men have all kinds of feelings; all kinds of hopes and dreams. Men in this culture are taught to work themselves to the grave. And now women are too in addition to raising children. This is a marvelous poem. Very brave and eloquent.

Ra

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Lady Ra. I appreciate your input.

[Tai Ryens]

I like the metaphors here, the ice (frozen and unmoving) house with broken gears that cannot be replaced due to the frozen manner in the first place. Well done.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Tai

[Moon-Child]

Beautiful, and very deep. I can feel the emotions that the poem radiates, anger, sadness very well, given your use of descriptive words.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Moon child

[Moon-Child]

My pleasure

[Kyle J. Lawson]

I have a vivid imagination. And when I read something I get an image in my mind of the words. Like a mental description. From this, I got a very industrial image. A barren, deserted wasteland of physical stress.You described darkness in a beautiful collage of words strew before us. Good job and keep this kind of work flowing.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you ShadOwEater

[Kyle J. Lawson]

You're welcome. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"i'm nothing but a paycheck w***e"

amen...

i feel like a streetwalker, looking for the next trick, sometimes...because living paycheck to paycheck makes us that way...

this says so much so well.

also taken by the title...we become so frosted from frustration and the gears start jamming up.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Jacob

[WillowWhisper]

Wow, fantastic job. I can feel the frustration and angst boiling in my veins as I read this.
"Always running the tilt a whirl
Sick clowns with ugly leers"
I love it! It gives a darker, playful vibe to the dismal message your sending.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Willow Whisper

[Cassie]

I agree with Monica. Good job

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Cassie

[X]

absolutely beautiful in a very sad, angry way. I loved it.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Monica

[E.V. Black]

Wow. The angst and the frustration in this poem really show. So much so that they roll off in waves. The rhyming makes it seem that the speaker is really forcing out his emotions. I've been here, so I know how it feels to spit words out. I feel that this is the way with this poem. Awesome job! I loved it.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you E.V.

[Rocans]

Nice penning here. The rhymes are unforced and natural, and you relayed your message well. I like "frustration always incubates" excellent line of despondence. Good write.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Rocans

[TL Boehm]

Broken down to a credit score
What life means to me
Nothing but a paycheck w***e
This life is failing me

This reality - it simply sucks and there doesn't seem to be anything to do about it but ride it out. I really related to this verse especially. Its a common condition, among people I know.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you TL