Working For Wal Mart Nation

Where are you sleeping tonight?

Working for Wal Mart Nation
    Trying to scrape on by
  Trapped in a lowly station
    Barely able to survive

 Was a time I had ambitions
    I had my wild dreams
But all of that's all over now
 They were all pipe dreams

   Looking for an America
  Where everybody wins
 No one gets plowed under
  Where anyone can begin

  A government of the dollar
   What we have become
Elected corporate politicians
   Who represent no one

  Suspending Habeas Corpus
     Forcing us into debt
Foreclosing on our mortgages
    Leaving us no assets

 Raping the banking system
    Without an oversight 
   Rigging the regulations
Then scream about gun rights

We're an arsenal for democracy
   Weapons factory systems
Billions made in weapons trade
 So screw the latest victims

 It's just the price of business
  Our expendable little lives
In a world of losers and takers
  The heartless will survive

Working for Wal Mart nation
   I'm nothing but a wheel
Trapped by trade deregulation
  They said would be ideal

Armed by the second Amendment
      Bushmaster in my hand
  Gonna make my own statement
and take back the promised land

Author's Note

Praise and criticism would be much appreciated

Reviews

[quinfinn]

excellent rant...makes me madder than hell, what this country does in the name of democracy, and as for the little people...let them starve and live on the streets while we vote ourselves another pay raise to supplement our millionaire existence with full health benefits to the grave. this country needs a f*****g enema, and we need to start with the very rich....and the corrupt political system. love it when you get me fired up, ricochet!

[Baby Ricochet]

I feel you bro. Thank you quinfinn

[katriver]

I loved this...not because it's content is sadly so evidently true but I could feel your words. I could feel the down trodden compliance of so many who are caught in this trap...the expectation of dreams stolen from a nation.....a very emotive piece....thank you :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Katriver

[katriver]

You`re very welcome :)

[Luna Evangeline]

I don't do politics--it's my civic duty to vote, but other than that...--yet even still this made my blood boil. You're absolutely right: America is basically the rich people telling the middle class people to blame the poor people. I really can't offer much opinion here, because I'm not a great poetry reviewer and politics is not my strong subject. Sorry, I wish I could be more insightful.

As far as the structure of the poem, you have a natural rhythm that is easy for the reader to fall into, and the only line that seems to upset the meter is "Nothing but pipe dreams." I don't know how strict you are on meter--Shakespeare fans are huge on it, while the free-versers don't seem to mind much--but if your a rhythm Nazi then I suggest you take a look at that line. I was just about to go into why it feels off but then I remembered, "If you aren't crazy about meter, then that would be a waste of time for you to read!" So forget that.

As far as grammar/spelling, I didn't see anything off.

Not much else on my mind. I look forward to reading more from you. (When I have the time...I'm already late to a prior engagement.) Thanks for sharing the excellent poem, and I apologize for the lousy poetry review.

[Baby Ricochet]

Actually that line is off meter. I'm gonna have to mess with it a bit. Thank you

[Baby Ricochet]

K. I changed it toy "they were all pipe dreams. Hopefully that's better. Sometimes it's hard to tell with your own work. Thank you

[Baby Ricochet]

I think the word "nothing" may have been clumsy there

[Luna Evangeline]

Ah...I like that much better. Great poem.

[Baby Ricochet]

Cool. Thanks for the tip. I appreciate t

[Luna Evangeline]

No trouble at all.

[Vikrantsingh]

Marvellous and effective. Ricochet can't express.
Its worth a share and understood how every human is feeling with this :)

Loved your poem.
Cheers!!
Singh :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Singh

[Vikrantsingh]

Welcome Ricochet :)

[Sirius King]

Truth Truth and more Truth....with a little Rambo kick-a*s action at the end....great write BR!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Serenus

[Pax]

this is something for something my friend ~ an excellent piece
I tried google to gain sa info about it ~ and i find it really sad, greed and corruption runs in their system ~ this is quite an eye opener my friend... Great work!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Mr Pax

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Excellent......absolutely excellent.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Neva

[MOON]

This is good "Bushmaster" in my hand that's clever.The world over politicians have no integrity beats me why we put up with them!

[Baby Ricochet]

That's for sure

[Kaylor Mason]

Sounds like the last written words of a man who's snapped and about to go postal . . . very moving

[Baby Ricochet]

That's the voice to this piece for sure. Thank you Kailor

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. I just saw this poem. A really good one with a lot of truth and reality of America these days. Debt( 13 trillion ), corruption, corporate greed , power of politicians instead of people, monopolies of big corporation, violating the constitution... The list go on and on.
Speak up brother....:)

[Derek ubuntu Dunham]

I love this poem but the weapons the military has now makes guns almost obsolete. The right to bear arms is almost a dying argument in my opinion. great for home invasions maybe but if the government was really going to fight the general population your bushmaster wouldnt be able to shoot down the drones and if they came by land.. you ever heard of the microwave beams they mount to hummers now? it's like opening an oven door on you.. superheating your skin's mousture. It's a sick sad world

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks for stopping by