Sex Cramp

Sometimes I get a cramp in my right hamstring at the most inopportune moment.

I was having some sex
When I got a cramp
Deep in my hamstring
Great going champ

An evil sharp pain
Ripped up my thigh
grimacing agony 
I tried to be sly

I thought I covered
a difficult start
But she knew better
Girls are smart

She said not a word
Until I was pleased
Then she asked me
Why my leg seized

Another big cramp
from injuries past
Down at the gym
showing my a*s

Popping a dead lift
at four ninety five
Tore up my hamstring
At least I survived

Out for six weeks
I turned into jello
Steroids wore off
I started to mellow
 
When I came back
I worked really hard
Pounding it heavy
Like a f*****g retard

I was crazy religious
and got it all back
but it reminds me
with cramping attacks

Lay off the dead lifts
and enjoy having sex
So my leg doesn't freeze
When she's biting my pecs

Reviews

[quinfinn]

ouch, i got sore just reading this! the last time i ever lifted weights i was about 20 years old, and believe me, it was a lot less than the amount of weight you dead lifted. my doctors have instructed me not to lift anything heavier than a nighty and a pair of panties, so i am sticking with their regimen. had a lot of fun reading this write!!!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you quinfinn

[Marie]

I suppose constantly working out is necessary for you...just as necessary as sex...

[Baby Ricochet]

I'm physically expressive. Thank you for the review.

[Pete Langley]

I loved the title. I can`t stop laughing. Too much of a good thing can seize you up, mate. P.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you pete

[KAOlmsted]

xD I started laughing the second I read the title and continued laughing throughout the entire piece, which led to a three minute coughing fit, which led to an impromptu trip into the kitchen for a glass of water, which led to stubbing my baby toe on the corner of my desk, which led to more laughter, which led to more coughing...so now I am sitting here, water spilled on my Zumba pants, throat sore as hell from hacking up a lung, and a throbbing baby toe. All because you had a damn cramp in your hamstring xD

Okay. Seriously. This is a very well written piece and I thank you for sharing this most intimate moment with all of us...great work.

[Baby Ricochet]

Chaos theory in action. I'm glad to have given you a laugh.