Don't Open That Refrigerator!

No, it's not about Jeffery Dahmer.

      Don't open that Refrigerator!
           Pure evil lurks inside
      If you open so much a crack
      You'll need a place to hide

      It was cleaned last century
        Now it's all gone wrong
     It turned to an abomination
      That festered far to long

     That Pizza from last month
     I heard it crawling around
       Making evil satanic pizza
         cheesy gushy sounds

   A zombie chicken apocalypse
    Brews on the bottom shelf
     If it gets out in the open
     It's everyman for himself

  There's a gooey sticky liquid
       oozing around inside
  It burst from a mutant orange
     That turned to cyanide

   I don't want to think about
  what might be in that crisper
    If you stand to close to it
  You can hear an evil whisper

  Don't open that refrigerator!
  It's a highway straight to hell
   Your lungs will be putrefied
    by the horror of the smell

  Five year old fermented eggs
        Bread from 1984
   Chinese food growing vines
That wrapped around the door

Milk that turned to toxic gas
   Cheese that lost its blue
Green biscuits and butter tubs
      All chasing after you

Don't open that refrigerator!
  Not until the end of days
 A giant vortex will appear
  and suck everyone away

Author's Note

Just for yucks. Ya know what I mean?

Reviews

["writing by" KS]

Sounds a little like my fridge sometimes lol.. nice, very funny:)

[R. L. Ives]

Luckily my hubs has convinced me that the fridge is no place for science experiments and quite inappropriate to be used as a lab, d****t, so now i have to clean it. This made me laugh out loud. So very funny.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you R.L.

[Zap-the-awesome]

So funny. XD

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you sir

[Samuel Dickens]

Hey, I used to have one of those! It's a bachelor's fridge--right? Funny stuff--it reminds me of when the chief went on leave and left his half-full coffee cup on his desk. We noticed something growing in it after about a week, and started feeding it little bits of bread, sugar, and what have you. By the time he got back, it looked like some kind alien life form. As you might imagine, he wasn't happy.

[Baby Ricochet]

That's hilarious! Thanks for stopping by Sam

[Tai Ryens]

I wouldn't be surprised if one day, on the verge of a nuclear warfare, something just plain crawled out of mine!

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Thanks Tai

[chuna]

good poem..
I can imagine those freaking creatures and the coldness of the door..
it made me feel just yuckzzz...

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you chuna

[Pax]

this made me really laugh... great one yet again my friend....
the ref. has to many temptations and horrors to face, sometimes good and sometimes bad... either way, this is a fun way of looking at it... great!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you mr Pax

[Corset]

omg..this waaaaaaaaaaaaaassss briiiiiilllliiiiananaananaanananananat! hee...you rock my day Baby, so freaking hilarious my ribs hurt from laughing, just what the doctor ordered, a shot of Ricochet :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Corset. I'm flattered

[saratogaparty]

Was that a 1984 allusion?! Is Big Brother in your fridge? In that case f**k no I won't open the door!

This was hilarious. It reminds me of having roommates especially, and a big family, which I've lived through both of. So oddly enough, I know what you mean!

There are a couple "to"'s instead of "too"'s, just thought you'd want to know!

[Inda]

This is very entertaining, always welcome your stuff because of the ones that reflect this lighthearted side of you.