Art Critic

   I was looking at a book of art
 I thought I needed some culture
      So we went to a museum
 and looked at stupid sculptures

   We went to the Guggenheim
   The building was pretty cool
   It looked like a big a*s tea pot
    Made out of a cable spool

  So we went inside the building
  I was prepared to be impressed
   The first exhibit that we saw
  looked like a maintenance mess

  About a Gazillion extension cords
   were strung around the room
The curator told some bullshit story
  About how it represented doom

Then there was the giant canvas
with the rope glued in the middle
Meant to represent the ties of man
  or some such fucked up riddle

There was some kind of mobile
   hanging around outside
it looked kinda like a taxi crash
  mixed with formaldehyde

Nothing looked like art to me
   It seemed to be a sham
The talent was in perpetrating
  An art scene Nuevo scam

  So I asked the bitchy lady
"Who comes up with this s**t?"
My 5 year old autistic cousin
  Would be an art scene hit

  She just glared into my face
   Like she needed a laxative
  Then she said in a snotty tone
  Sir you're not being imaginative

So I guess she had me pegged
  For a lowbrow philistine
I say you don't have to be told
what art's suppose to mean

You don't need a sales pitch
   To feel art in your gut
You know what it means to you
   That's what art's about

If someone has to sell the hype
of what art's suppose to mean
Maybe it's just a giant hoax
and a bullshit ponzi scheme

Reviews

[lee von cleef]

pitchfork in a round bale

[Baby Ricochet]

that's what it is alright

[Perri]

This poem was definitely well written, good flow and well expressed.
I like modern art...most of it...I saw a piece that was just a square of grass once and it was terrible xD
So, though I disagree with your stance on this type of art, it was good.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[Muse]

Like poetry...art...it's all objective. :P

[Baby Ricochet]

Of course

[AYVID N]

Funny and cool. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[MOON]

Humorous , ha the things that pass for art these days are scary! What happened to paint and canvas , technique and skill.lovely write

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Yup. If art is an expression, then what exactly were these "artistic" renderings saying?? Sounds like you artfully saw the real truth: 'art' that was awful. Love your honesty in your true art, Baby. :-)
~pat

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[LA Lorena]

ha ha! I loved this baby! I like your caustic wit and humour very much.

baby can be tender
and baby can be crass
his cutting wit and cunning truths
are proof that he's no a*s

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[Pax]

art differs on different levels.... and on the sculptures well it greatly evolves on something that is far more modern and far more distinctive which at times its hard to understand its meaning... I'm not an art student but i wish i was... a very run read my friend.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[Carolann Dowsett]

Nicely ranted and very true

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you

[quinfinn]

art is in the eye of the beholder. i majored art in college and used to get into arguments with some of my instructors because they wanted to sell me on their favorite artists. first of all let me say that i am in agreement with you on what you saw at the museum, sounds like garbage to me , just like that crap that picasso painted is trash, in my mind. looks like a 5 year old on crack painted that s**t. i love this write and enjoyed the hell out of your artistic rant herein. you could take a dump inside a donut hole and some a*****e would call it art and pay thousands for it.....point made, BR!!!

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you