Sex haiku

I'm just a USMC grunt so I'm not sure about the sylible count but the way I see it my old corps brethren kicked the Japanese asses back in WW ll so I don't have to listen to the Japanese

Her body beckons me

touch and tease me baby

soft petals drift away

Reviews

[Inda]

Leaves you wanting to read more. Great stuff.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Good write, BR :-)
As usual, interesting topic.
pat~

[Sirius King]

nice lol...love the description too haha

[That_Girl]

...well, there goes my "syllables are off" remark. Your description kinda ruined it for me. In a good way. Love it. ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review Avy

[Tai Ryens]

I had a whole review summed up from the content of your poem, but I had lost my grasp on the idea upon glancing your description. Presently, I can hardly comprehend what the poem is short as it is through all the tears I have solely due to holding back laughter. Bravo, I daresay, bravo!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review tai

[Frieda P]

I was so amused by your description that I could barely appreciate the true flavor of your Haiku, nice image. ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review

[Richard Morimanno]

very nice

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for the review

[Steven]

I think it's actually quite good. The 5 7 5 thing relates more to Japanese syllables, so you don't have to be completely strict. But erring on the side of less is more, as ours tend to be drawn out more than theirs. The point is the last line should shock our perspective, and this does that very well. An artful image, and one of complexity. Nice write

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanks Steven

[Steven]

Yeah buddy. Dude, seriously, what do you bench??

[Baby Ricochet]

I can pump 275 for 12 reps consistently. 315 between 4 to 6 reps depending how tired I am and how much I ate that day

[Steven]

S**t man, you must be in the fours for a single. I never got past 245

[That_Girl]

Hot damn...

[Baby Ricochet]

I've hit 365 for two reps before. I don't see a reason for me to bench heavier than I presently do so I typically don't try

[Steven]

Smart. I have to get back into it. It's a little hard with remodeling all day. Have to bite the bullet

[Baby Ricochet]

I have a lot of mars energy . Very physical, very hands on

[Baby Ricochet]

So bodybuilding is a spiritual thing to me.

[Steven]

Good stuff

[SpeedOfTaste]

Nice. I can bench press Oprah and rip a phone book in half. Lol.