M4 haiku

M4 haiku

A Poem by Baby Ricochet
"

I'm not sure what haiku rules are so I'm sure I'm bending the crap out of them.

"
Bullet to the head
bone crumbles like dead insects
the flies crawl inside

© 2012 Baby Ricochet


Author's Note

Baby Ricochet
M4 is a rifle used by US armed forces

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Reviews

The last line was the most disturbing, it made my skin crawl.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

11 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
who knew three lines could be so disturbing?

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
That's interesting--normally when you think of gunfights, you always think of the man falling, and then you forget him--kinda like the movies. Ya don't dwell on the stench of death and decay very much . . . no one imagines rotting husks of corpses out in the desert . . . not usually, anyway

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

A man can take a surprising number of rounds and still move. Depends on organ damage and
Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

blood losses
haunting and morbid...

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
Dark and full circle :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
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Mia
Living on the wild side, are we! You should change your name to Baby rule bender.
Very powerful images! Took me by surprise...

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
Ricochet, wonderful, a blunt indifference.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review.
5-7-5
The definition is complicated at times it see.



Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review Mr G.
Morbidly dark, yet straightforward and shines truth. You've kept the format ( 7 - 5 - 7) and haven't defied any laws of haiku's (though imo, there are no laws to poetry). Well done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thanks tai
Nicely written, few words but they're all I need to picture it

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Baby Ricochet

12 Years Ago

Thank you for the review

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486 Views
18 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 17, 2012
Last Updated on December 17, 2012

Author

Baby Ricochet
Baby Ricochet

Tampa, FL



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I write just for the hell of it A way to spend some time Blurting out in cyber space Whatever's on my mind Maybe funny maybe tragic Emotional and raw Politi.. more..

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