Ricochet's Christmas Carol

Tis the season to be aggravated

      Christmas time has come again
         No wonder I'm so annoyed
   With sleigh bells in the goddamn air
       You'd think I'd be overjoyed

     Carols are blaring everywhere
       So go deck your holly halls
   Decor and lights all over the place
       So go hang your little balls

        TV says it's time to give
        So buy buy buy buy buy
      It's the patriotic thing to do
      With the fiscal cliff near by

      My family's pushing for a visit
       With that old Familiar line
  "It could be Grandpa's last Christmas"
    He could croak and I'd feel fine

For Christs sakes how old is he anyway
     about a hundred and eighty five
     It's unnatural to vote for Lincoln
           And yet still be alive

    I don't like cold I don't like carols
          I'm a regular old scrooge
    Every party someone drags me to
    I head straight towards the booze

      I play grab a*s with all the girls
       I know that's just plain wrong
       I just want my friends to say
    That's the last time you tag along

     Drag me to a Christmas Parade
      You know that's just absurd
  Santa waved at me from his Float
    So I flipped ol Chris the bird

   Jesus Ricochet what's the deal
    It's the spirit don't you know
   Okay baby come take a look at
 what's hanging under my mistletoe

Reviews

[Steven]

"sleigh bells in the goddamned air" lol, that felt like a line out of the unedited version of It's a Wonderful Life, or an unwritten Salinger story

"It's unnatural to vote for Lincoln
And yet still be alive" lol, awesome line

Dude, had me laughing all the way. And we're all left to fill in the blank at the end with whatever profane thing pops into our minds first. Sweet irreverent piece.

[Baby Ricochet]

THank you for reviewing Ricochet's Christmas Carol Steven

[Frieda P]

Oh, this is grand! I love it, I'd like to run all those people with antlers on their heads over! I'm still smiling. Thank you so much, I'm not alone. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing Ricochet's Christmas Carol Frieda

[Kes]

Haha, I feel the same way. I love Christmas day, but all the rest is just too much for me. The Christmas songs and adverts started about 3 months ago, and everyone's telling me I ought to be buying presents already.
Actually, I tell a lie; giving people presents is the best bit. :) I love recieving gifts, but I prefer giving them away. I have loads of stuff anyway, you know? I sound like a saint! I'm not, I just like giving stuff away. I find recieving gifts a bit awkward. Lovely, but strange.

But I think I'm mostly with you when it comes to Christmas. The big family get-together is a laugh until you get roped into helping in the kitchen, and then someone gets drunk and giggly, and someone else gets drunk and falls asleep (usually one of my aunts, my mother, or my elderly grandmother), you eat too much and someone falls out with someone else.

I saw an ad in the newspaper the other day for the new (mobile phone) Samsung Galaxy III. It was being advertised as a stocking-filler. A stocking-filler!! I got a orange in my stocking and a pair of socks if I was lucky! If you give someone an expensive phone in their stocking, you've got to buy them a house for their proper present!
I hate the way Christmas is exploited by companies. There's this idea that if you're not buying your 5 year old the newest Xbox games, you're an awful parent. 5 year olds shouldn't have Xboxes!
My favourite present at Christmas when I was little was the enormous boxes my over-priced presents came in. Give me a dolls' house, I was interested for a day. Give me a cardboard box and I was ecstatic for weeks. :)

Also, the one time of year when domestic abuse really sky-rockets is Christmas. Just a thought.

Sorry for rattling on for so long. Well done if you've got this far!
Your poem is fantastic. It got better and better with every line, and pretty much summed up Christmas for me. :)

K

[Baby Ricochet]

Wow that was some review. Thanks Kes

[Kes]

lol Sorry. :)
My pleasure. x

[Annabelle Lee]

hahaa. i love christmas, hate winter. i cant really relate to this one as much as the others but it was a fun read and the last stanza busted me up

[Baby Ricochet]

It's a Ricochet just for yucks poem. Thanks for the review

[Corset]

lol, you will burn in hell, JUST KIDDING!!! awww I bet it's not as bad as all that, but it does seem the way...eight was my favorite, laughed out loud at that, startled the dog, lol.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing Ricochet's Christmas Carol Corset

[}Echo{]

Hahaha, this is awesome. Great right. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you for the review adriana

[}Echo{]

:)

[Clayton Bardwell]

Liar! There is a Santa and Easter is about the bunny and chocolate eggs.

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you for the review

[Baby Ricochet]

HAHAHA you're brilliant Babe, I so hate Christmas, (not for the real meaning ofcourse) but for all the unworthy glitter and glamour, you nailed this on the head with your sharp sarcastic eye... loved it. And don't f*****g say only thank you... lol
For I loved the pic too ha! :D the grudge was a really good a*s loner, a perfect hermit.... :D now only you and me have to turn green, and live on a high mountain *laugh* (don't take me serious, lol ) but I so enjoyed this!!! bravo!

E.L.

[Baby Ricochet]

The defining Christian event is Easter, not Christmas. Christmas came into being when the ever Pragmatic Emporer Constentine hijacked the winter solctice by naming it Christmas because the people refused to give the holidaty up when the Christians, who were suddenly in power because of constantine's conversion realized they couldn't ban the holiday. So at least then the celebrations were in the name of Christ. THat's the true origin. No one knows when Jesus was born. Chrismas the way it's celibrated in the US today didn't come into play until after WWII when the country's economic system had shifted into hyperdrive after America's staggering victories in Europe and the Pacific that paved the way for the new economic era. That's the story of Christmas. For all the people that love the it that's great. If I had a wife and kids I probably would too.

[Baby Ricochet]

America's greatest victory strictly from a military perspective was Desert Storm. WWII was as much economic as military and it's cost in human lives was staggering so Desert storm beats it out on the battle field. Sorry. I get carried away sometimes

Just for me raster is the real thing too.... in so glad I'm mixed.... i know all about you are saying, I have a family but I still hate holidays.... Sorry I can't jump like a bunny when easter has nothing to do with eggs and I cant believe in a commercial Santa.... when thats all a set up modern plot, I would feel tremendous hypocrite if I did.....

Raster is Easter damn phone and auto correct...... Hate it you know that x

[Baby Ricochet]

Easter confused me when I was a wee lad. I thought Jesus had a magic rabbit that laid chocolate eggs.

Haha lol well I though my face would be standing as a stature, as rigid when the clocks of Babel would ring..... Crazy?

* though + a "t"

[Strigoikillerr]

Hahahahaha. This is excellent.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing Ricochet's Christmas Carol Strigoikillerr. That's some name. It sounds like it would be German slang for like a WWII era weapons System on a fighter. Thaat cool. I'm a vet. THat's why I think like that

[Strigoikillerr]

Haha you're welcome. Strigoi are these evil creatures in my favorite book series. Strigoikillerr just seemed badass :P

[Baby Ricochet]

Oh it's badass. Love it!

[Ees]

Seems more and more people feel this way about Christmas-time.
But it's all so pretty, the lights and the sparkles and softly falling snow and having fun and drinks with the family and seeing the little ones get so excited. I love buying presents for people, while listening to my irish christmas carols, not because I believe in this strange fiscal cliff, but because I believe in nice surprises. I don't know, it's hard for me to comprehend your lack of spirit,
though, as always, you display your mood with wonderful humor, making it fun to read. Nice work

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you for reviewing Carol Ees