Days I can't say

Quick write

         Across an open sky

   To where my thoughts return

    Flying on the swirling winds

         of a desert eastern

 

         In my darkest days

      The ones I never share

     Words that can't explain

          What lurks there

 

          I feel the hardness

      Overcome my aching face

         Erasing any emotion

          with it's dead space

 

        In those cold moments

        My eyes give me away

       Deep set sinister stare

             Dead and grey

 

            So don't ask me

      I don't know what to say

       It's not for you to know

     What happened that day

 

         You don't know me

       I've never been defined

       Look into my darkness

         What would you find

 

 

Reviews

[The Refined Poet]

wow, this is really good... evokes personal introspection

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing days refined poet

[Kaylor Mason]

They say that in the desert, you can hear God thinking . . . I wouldn't know. I've never been in one. I would think that in the desert, you can come face-to-face with the most evil of your inner demons and have nowhere to run for shelter . . . it's more bleak and wild than the ocean

[Ees]

Wonderful work on this.
I have no critique to offer you. You don't get very specific in this, but that is exactly what is appropriate for this piece. Everything makes sense and it clear in it's way. My favorite stanza is:
"I feel the hardness
Overcome my aching face
Erasing any emotion
with it's dead space"

Really wonderful job!

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

HOLY MAMA'S MACARONI! THIS IS REALLY AMAZING AND EXTORDINARY!!! NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL POETRY!! :DDDD
100/100

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing Roxast

[Sid]

Kind of dark this poem but in the end I feel the essence of this poem is sadness and the things that are best left unsaid...a great heartfelt write, great work!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing Days sid

[EvErEyEs]

Mysterious and dark feel, i really like it :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing Days Green eyes

[Robbie~xoxo~]

There is a sadness in the mystery of you... Dark lurks in the corner of the heart, yet sadness seems to fill the void. Intriguing write!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you and thank you for reviewing Days Robbie.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You're welcome...it's a nice surprise...thank you for sharing your heart.

[James William Dyer]

Different than your usual stuff. It reminded me of those stone beings in the desert with the weathered faces....the Sphinxes. Very cryptic themselves, though you're prolly referring here to things seen in....combat maybe? Great subject matter, and a nice evolution in style.

[Baby Ricochet]

I love your anology. It's about a few things that are better left unsaid some of which did happen during my deployments. Thank you for reviewing days James.

[Tabitha t]

This is diffrent then your usual work.Impressive though and I do like it alot

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing days tabitha

[Kushal]

I did not like it. Except the 4th paragraph. But that's just me. :/

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reviewing days kushel