Burns

My answer to the poem "Playing With Children" by ... I know he's probably an alienated teenager trying to be a bad a*s but some things I can't let slip by without comment.

Someone wrote a poem about burning children alive

Let's take a trip down Ricochet's memory archive

A few lasting impressions that may shed some light

On civilian ignorance and the horror of human plight

 

Burned and broken bodies screaming in the night

Digging through the rubble of another air strike

Little flaming victims snatch their life away

Living breathing dying in violence and decay

 

Momma's so frantic she can't find you anywhere

In the shattered ruins of splinters and despair

Daddy's desperately digging in smoldering wreckage

Praying to Allah for an Angel with a survivor message

 

A pink sweater is seen peaking out of the rubble

It was her favorite color it made her smile bubble

Clear away the twisted rebar, mortar, and broken stone

Pull her barely breathing from her instant tombstone

 

She was so badly burned there's nothing they can do

She died within the hour her young life was through

Mommy and daddy's screaming pain fill up the sky

Consumed by grief and agony all they can do is cry

 

Just another horrific scene from the land of the gun

So post burning baby poems yeah that might be fun

But those of us that defended the land of milk and honey

Know that kind of ignorant s**t aint so f*****g funny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I'm not suggesting ... delete a single line of his work. He's got a right to post whatever he pleases. I'm fine with that. To me it's all about the truth and the reality of severly burned children beyond horrific. Trust me on that.

Reviews

[Pax]

this is great, a picture imagery of horrifying experience from you my friend..
I see that this person doesn't see the reality of the events he mention...his mind is a very dark place... and your right..he has every right for freedom of speech...i guess his works is just disturbing...

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading burns mr pax

[Alice Crypt; Brittany]

This is a great piece of work. More people should speak out against things such as what you said in the description, but unfortunately we live in a world where ignorance just seems to keep growing generation after generation and may never stop. Thank you for speaking out against that idiot and being one of the few who are not ignorant. My only problem would be the final line, yes it matches with the rest of the poem and definitely evokes a feeling of anger, but the cursing kind of evokes a violent anger (which is completely understanding). Still, I do not think it takes away from the essence of your words. You created fantastic imagery by the way, I felt like I was stuck in the scene and actually wanted to cry. Again, thank you for speaking out against that idiot.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading Burns Alice. I was in the Marine corps then. We used the F bomb as a noun, a verb, anjective, a conjunction. It was part of daily life. I think some of my earlier works are nothing but lines of F bombs. But I do appreciate your candor in pointing it out. The only way a writer can see his work from another view point other than his own if someone critiques his work.

[Alice Crypt; Brittany]

Your welcome, and I understand. Glad I came across this :)

[Distant horizons]

Shock value is all some on here have. If only they thought before writing, just like they should probably think more before talking. An excellent response to what we, over here, would call, a complete arsewipe of a human being.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading scars Lorry.

[Tate Morgan]

Ric you bring an intelligent reality to the world of the gun.i thank you for that.i dont see a dumb automaton in you.Your intelligence gives you great compassion.I hope it serves you well.Your skills writing are improving every day and become more interesting as well.I like this one it tewlls reality where to stand.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you Tate. I appreciate the compliment and thank you for reading burns.

[Kaylor Mason]

I read that poem . . . to be honest, I just thought it was some stupid joke. I never took it seriously at all, which is why I was never offended . . . I probably should've been, but . . . as you say, I am a rather ignorant gentleman sometimes. Sorry if my dumb-arse attitude in my review offended you (if it ever did)

[Baby Ricochet]

You can take a poem any way you want or write one any way you want. That's why I stressed my desire not to see the piece deleted. I didn't find "Playing With Children" offensive so much as ignorant. What comes up in a persons mind when they read something is relevant to their life experience and I have seen horribly burned people. I've also seen and felt the agony of loved ones dying a grotesque, violent death and know what it is to think I could be next. With those kinds of memories lodged in my brain how else could I respond? It's like making rape jokes to a rape victim. She's not going to see the humor in that.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading Burns Kailer

[Kaylor Mason]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I'd think it's the same thing when someone is making fun of mentally ill people in front of someone who has one . . . it's never pleasant

[Kaylor Mason]

I agree with insanity writer down below; no child can commit a type of sin bad enough to deserve this as punishment. It's simply . . . obscene to humanity, I think

[Annabelle Lee]

Youre right, he DOES have a.right to post whatever the hell he wants. But I can guaruntee you that if i said something about burning obama alive... even in sarcasm or good fun, they would have my fourteen year old a*s stuck so far behind bars i might neve see the light again.... so what makes it right for this jackass to talk about burning kids for the sake of entertainment? Sorry..... just doesnt make sense to me.

Anyway, I love how you can call someone out without pointing them out and how open and honest you are.... thank you, thos seem to be rare qualities.these days.

Nice write

[Baby Ricochet]

thank you for reading burns Annabelle

[Forever Hidden]

Oh god. So many tears rolling down my cheeks. This is one of the poems that is unexplainable

Thank you for sharing the message with everyone

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading Burn Forever Hidden.

[Lina Grey]

Never read "Playing with Children", and now I know I won't ever. That sort of writing is part of why so many countries in the Eastern Hemisphere regulate public speech. I'm not saying that's the only reason, but it's a part of the problem. Yes, he's got the right to post that and whatever else he wants, but there are some things that I believe should not be shared or approved of. This is a brilliant piece to combat his biggotry, though I honestly wish it wasn't necessary. Sorry you had to go through that, Ricochet.

[Baby Ricochet]

WHile I disagree with the content of his post I strongly believe in his right to post it. Thank you for reading Burns Lina

[Michael Thrower]

This was completely, utterly, and in it's purest form, kick-a*s. You're a warrior with words. Like Beowulf as a poet.

[Baby Ricochet]

THank you and thank you for reading Burns