Designated driver

I'll let your drunk a*s use my phone

If you need to call for a ride home

What's that you little drunken gnome

  you want to write a drunken poem

not under ricohcet's accuont you're not

Oh no that's not what this is about

You need to give your wife a shout

So she can bring the cash to bail you out

 

No dude p***y doesn't rhyme with drunk

      Or alcoholic little s**t a*s punk

I should have locked your a*s in the trunk

If i'd known you were gonna get this skunked

 

No dog I don't play that way anymore

I've seen this movie a few times before

Got my a*s kicked by bouncers galore

 had my sorry a*s thrown through a door

 

 threw up on that cop's big black shoes

Got Beaten with night sticks on Fox news

Wallet keys and car I manage to lose

All that s**t started with a couple of brews

 

I'm taking your drunk a*s back to your place

No way are you throwing up in my space

You can wake up on your lawn a disgrace

With a big german shepard humping your face

 

Wouldn't that be a beautiful sight

Raped by dog in the pale morning light

What in the f**k did we do last night

You're gonna give birth to puppies fleabite

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[RachelReaper]

LOL, 'nuf said

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx for reading

[Ruth]

It is mouth opening and thrilling at the same time lol
Yup...sums it up xo

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading PoppySilver

[Ruth]

Welcome :)

[Tate Morgan]

LOLthe life of aAmerican male fopr sure .Seems you have lived a little as well bravo and learned a lot

[Baby Ricochet]

That's for sure. Thanx for reading Tate

[Marie]

Well, at least you were nice enough to drive him home. You could have lefthim in the street to fend for himself, but then you wouldn't have had the pleasure of writing this poem.

[Baby Ricochet]

and I pleasure it was. Thanx for reading

[Steven]

God it's terrible! It's so good!

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Thanx for reading

[Tai Ryens]

So crudely humorous, yet so refined. Your frustration from within clearly slivers through this one poem; keep it up.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanx for reading Tai.

[Crazy Cat Man]

Hahahahaha what a great frustrated piece. Dealing with drunk people really do suck. U captured this wonderfully in a poem. 4 Vodka bottles!!!

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! Thanks for reading

[That_Girl]

Oh my god.. I was reading and all was well. I was really loving it and then came the last two stanzas... and now I've got about twenty people at work giving me weird looks cause I just randomly started laughing my a*s off. Those two stanzas are hysterical... loved every word of this poem. Brilliant Baby R.

[Baby Ricochet]

Don't get yourself into trouble now. Thank you for reading

[That_Girl]

Haha what's done is done. ;) You're very welcome.

[That_Girl]

No to mention, I'm always in trouble. I'm sure you've noticed by now... ;)

[Michael G.]

Yeah, that sounds about true to form. You wrote this well, as expected. Obviously, you weren't the "PP..." the polluted poet.
Great work to start the day with a smile.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading Michael