Klepto

A poem about Kleptomania (clean)

My baby is a Klepto

That much is just a fact

Better keep an Eye on her

Near that sunglass rack

 

Five finger discount sweetheart

ShopKeeper's biggest fear

What happened to that Rolex

I swear it was right here

 

My thieving little lover

You'd think I'd feel disgrace

Let her loose in Target

She's out with half the place

 

Wal Mart's got their cameras

Target's got Private dics

The stuff she gets away with

Man it's just plain sick

 

Jewelry cosmetics clothing

Electronics and  DVD'S

She could steal a rocket ship

From max security

 

Once she got a big screen

walked right out the door

Flirting with security

Distracting with amour

 

Last time she got busted

she put on such a show

the cops were all so smitten

they just let her go

 

Wiggly and giggly

perfect lips and hips

sneaky and conniving

she could swipe a battleship

 

So why is it I love her

what's my big defense

It's all business baby

I'm her private fence

 

Author's Note

Just in case you're getting confused, I made this up

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

The way you treat controversial, heartbreaking, tragic, wild, and just about anything else is fantastic. You can find humor in things that would ordinarily not even be discussed let alone tackled in a poem. I have gotten so many new perspectives from reading your writing. Sometimes, I feel as if you are making us laugh so we don't cry with or for you. I mean all this as a big compliment...hope you take it as intended. Sometimes, I am not very good at writing reviews and this feels like one of them. What am I trying to say? That I appreciate your wit, candor, mind, and perspective. Even though i may not always agree with some of the things, I think you do a wonderful job of shaking things up and are doing it with well written and clever work.

[Baby Ricochet]

LOL! THanx. If you agreed with everything I put into some of these poems I'd be seriously worried about you. THere's an old song with a line that goes "You have to be crazy to stay in this place you just have to laugh at it all." I love that line. Great review. Thanx

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes from
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll Chapter 7
(In a discussion with the Cheshire Cat)

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

I just love that!

[Baby Ricochet]

THat's great

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Fine write in well chosen words - it truly describes the dilemma of kleptomania (I had an aunt that was sick with that). The poem is crafty and delightful to read because of the humor and natural way you relayed the story. I enjoyed reading this, specially the last line.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thank you for reading Klepto cynthia.

[KAOlmsted]

So happy you recommended this one, although there are so many here to choose from I think I may go a little crazy *laugh* I confess, when my daughter was a baby, even though I had plenty of cashola, I used her stroller to smuggle out some stuff from K-Mart *laugh* The temptation was just too great! We have ALL done this sort of thing, don't even pretend like we haven't! *grin* Meanwhile, very funny. Thanks again for the head's up.

[Engineerphil]

OMG, I swear you wrote this about my Daughter.

This hit way to close to home, those were tough times for me to live through. Thank God those days are gone.

Very nicely written. Somewhere you have intimate knowledge of this.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanx.I'm pleased with this one

[L. Edward Neale]

Ha ha! Cool. Reminds me of someone I knew back in the day. Swipe a battle ship!! This screams rap or live spoken word. Even thought its made up, it has this wicked brutal sincerity, Got any musican friends? You should hook up and lay some s**t down no joke. If you got the Itll kill those demons like nothing else brother. Take it all out on the Mic.

[Baby Ricochet]

Maybe so. Thanx

[sienikeha]

i'm a brevity w***e-- i scour for bits that speak as they are: found 'em. :)

It's all business baby
I'm her private fence

[Baby Ricochet]

Glad to be of soyvece

[Marie]

Of course you made it up. You have a really edgy sense of humor--very refreshing.

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! THanx Marie

[Annabelle Lee]

This is great, even if made up. I had to laugh at some parts, though not entirely sure how I found them comic. Nevertheless. You always do such a great job. Bravo

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx

[Ama May Cooper]

Very creative. I think you show the almost livid fear of cleptomania that there is an unstoppable urge to take things, and not many seem to be able to stop them dong so.
I think perhaps you lack the emotional empathy of the situation. But either way it is rather a sweet and somewhat despite the subject matter humourus piece, that i did quite enjoy reading.

[Baby Ricochet]

I like to have a laugh

[Pax]

nice story and very intriguing.
a very informative thing about for those who had it.

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx