Land of The Gun (Certified F bomb free)

Raids and Patrols

       Running this witch hunt

        From town to town

 

      Old ones and sick ones

       the rest not around

 

   five darkened doorways

           100 to one

 

  The smart ones get quicker

     the rest just get hung

 

     Dead in the Alley

    Blood in the sink

 

     No one saw nothing

Just the smell and the stink

 

    Half a face missing

     splatter the wall

 

     Nobodies talking

     They saw it all

 

   Talk to my partner

 He's quick on the SAW

 

   Cut you wide open

   razor sharp claw

 

  Walks like a Bishop

    Prays to the sky

 

   Flash detonator

 Counter clockwise

 

     Old Ali Baba

He's running this town

 

Paid off in Dinars and

 Dollars and pounds

 

Head tribal leader

Blows out the door

 

Bullets and bodies

all over the floor

 

 Roll up the alley

Roll up the street

 

   Wasting my mind

in the sand and the heat

 

Stave off insanity

It's best to be numb

 

Doing your time

in the land of the gun

Author's Note

The SAW reference in an Acronym for Squad Automatic Weapon

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

I wonder, Baby, if you might consider a compilation...as in tangible, real-life, hold it in your hands poetry. With what you are learning about meter and rhyme, I don't see why any publisher worth their salt wouldn't consider signing you to do an anthology of your work. Your voice on these matters is strong and authoritative, and you give the every day average citizen a glimpse--not often pleasant--into what it was really like for a soldier on the front lines over in the Middle East.

Just a thought.

-kimmer

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

War, huh, yeah. What is it good for. Absolutely nothing. Say it again, y'all. (Sorry - what I heard. Grew up with that song, and the sentiment seeped into my being.)

[Baby Ricochet]

Crazy mutha f**ka named ice cube in a gang called niggaz with attitudes. When I'm called off/ I got a sawed off/ Sqeeze the trigger and the bodies are hauled off. (Straight outa Compton by NWA). One of the charming little diddys my generation came up on. EEK. Ice Cube does Disney movies now. Now that's thug life.

[A love for poetry]

Nicely done; although I had a visual of the:

Half a face missing
splatter the wall

Nobodies talking
They saw it all

I love the title, super!

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanx

[Heather Maria]

How you manage to put all of that into a roughly 20 stanza poem is beyond me. Which is why I don't write poetry. I always have too much to say and not enough pages.

[Baby Ricochet]

I have a hard time with stories. I get bogged down in details. I"ve got three of them in my computer and they're disasters

[kayla]

Wow this is great. Usually I'm not a fan of gore, but this is really great. It's good you can get this out.

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx

[nigrum homonculus]

really good. the imagery you used is very good and haunting. i find it hard to believe you went through all of this.

[Baby Ricochet]

oh patrols had their moments. Thanx

[Ama May Cooper]

Very deep.
A land that would be a horrible existance to live in riddled with corruption and death, murders and slaughter.
A piece that speaks to me of broken politics and corrupt minds.
I love the way you fhinsh on the title, it is a very powerful line.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanx

[Marie]

Really good. I like your rhyming scheme.

[Baby Ricochet]

Thanx

[Michael G.]

Night patrol in city streets? No thank you. I think the jungle may have been a safer place. Good flow, content, rhythm.
"in the land of the gun." Good thought.

[Baby Ricochet]

Oh it had it's moments. Thanx

[Pax]

always facinated by your poem and experience you write it so well..great job..

[Baby Ricochet]

thanx